Today, host Lorie Jones welcomes Jacquelin (Jackie) Connelly, founder of Coaching That Belongs, whose journey spans creative entrepreneurship and corporate leadership, marked by hard-won wisdom and courage in the face of adversity. You will find profound value in Jackie’s story and the wake-up call that prompted her to break free from others’ expectations—or “the shoulds”—and realign her life with her values.
Jackie warmly shares actionable strategies for professional women seeking fulfillment beyond surface-level success, emphasizing the importance of radical candor, authentic feedback, and self-advocacy, even in male-dominated spaces. The conversation illuminates how women can define achievement on their own terms, fueling both personal growth and career advancement.
Listen in as two women leaders dedicated to helping others forge authentic, purpose-driven careers provide clarity and a fresh perspective for women who want work that is a genuine fit with who they are.
Show Highlights:
- The art of giving meaningful feedback with Radical Candor. [04:21]
- Effects of overcommitment in toxic work environments. [07:15]
- Make the transformative choice of what matters most to you. [10:40]
- Strategies for realigning values in life and career. [15:44]
- Fake it till you make it vs. authenticity. [17:28]
- The power of open-ended questions in male-dominated workplaces. [21:00]
- Should you buy real estate to build financial stability? [23:33]
- Navigating HR conversations without upfront answers. [24:46]
- Why women can uniquely enrich organizations as leaders. [27:07]
- Evaluating personal truths vs. “shoulds” as young women. [31:32]
To contact Jackie Connelly, visit her website, www.coachingthatbelongs.com.
If you enjoyed this episode, please go to Apple Podcasts and leave a review!
For more information about Lorie Jones, go to https://fearlessfinancialadvisors.com/fearless-females.
00:01.78
Lorie Jones
Good morning, fearless females. So we are here today with Jacqueline Connelly. She is the founder and coach of Coaching That Belongs. And I’m so excited to hear your story and talk just a little about ah a little bit about your journey.
00:16.11
Lorie Jones
Jackie, thanks so much for joining us.
00:18.39
Jackie
um Thanks so much for having me, Lori. I really appreciate it. And yeah, excited for this conversation.
00:23.93
Lorie Jones
So my first question is always, I love books. I love reading. i love everything about it. What is your favorite?
00:33.15
Jackie
um This was a hard, hard question for me to come up with an answer for, but I came to um a book that comes up in a lot of my coaching conversations and um I think has sat with me for a number of years just in terms of communicating with people and having those like really meaningful, deep conversations. So it’s a book called um Radical Candor by Kim Scott.
00:58.57
Jackie
And um I guess the the quick premise is that it or she um promotes how to give most meaningful and effective feedback.
01:09.84
Jackie
um I think so often we avoid feedback conversations or we dance around the bush. They’re not clear. People aren’t really understanding what we’re asking or what we’re telling because we don’t want to hurt people’s feelings um and probably a lot of other reasons also.
01:21.77
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
01:25.17
Jackie
So Kim talks about um these four quadrants and the quadrant that she feels like works best is the one she calls radical candor. So that’s defined by both caring personally for the person that we’re giving feedback to um and challenging directly.
01:42.75
Jackie
So we can think of the opposite of that. We might not care for the person and we might just verbal diarrhea out something that doesn’t make any sense and doesn’t have any thought behind it. And that’s not going to get us anywhere.
01:53.87
Jackie
But if we can like really care for the person and also be very clear with our language, um but she kind of promotes that being the best way to do that. So I really liked that book. I’ve come back to it a number of times.
02:04.82
Lorie Jones
Yeah, I like that idea. I think I’ve actually read that book. So yay, this is the first time i don’t have to put it in my stack that’s sitting next to my bed because i did appreciate the fact.
02:07.85
Jackie
Hmm.
02:14.27
Jackie
Oh.
02:15.66
Lorie Jones
And I think that kind of a premise or an idea idea behind that is is clear is kind.
02:21.78
Jackie
Yeah, totally.
02:22.58
Lorie Jones
Yeah. Yeah. Like you want to make sure that you’re clear in your language and your intent and yes, um care about the person coming from a place of caring, but also,
02:23.95
Jackie
Yeah.
02:32.19
Jackie
Yeah.
02:33.50
Lorie Jones
um you know, we don’t learn very much of how we hear all day long every day is, oh, you’re great. You’re doing great. No big problem. You know, nothing to change.
02:41.03
Jackie
Mm-hmm.
02:41.40
Lorie Jones
Like, I know that can’t be true. I’ve got my, I have kids that tell me radically can’t turf what I should do, right?
02:48.19
Jackie
Right. Yeah. Well, and this is, yeah, like our ability to grow and our ability to receive that feedback and take it less of less less as a criticism and more as a, this person wants to see me be successful and grow and try new things, learn new things. Like this is the beauty of a feedback conversation.
03:09.22
Jackie
Unfortunately, we have all been in those conversations, I would imagine, where that feedback isn’t provided with care. And so then we have the opposite result, right?
03:18.52
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
03:19.47
Jackie
Yeah.
03:20.41
Lorie Jones
So Jacqueline, tell me just a little bit about your journey. Like, how did you get started? Did you, did you know young what you wanted to do How did you, how’d you go along your journey? How’d you get where you are today? What do you do? That sort of thing.
03:32.89
Jackie
Yeah, totally. um No, like, I feel like I’m in my um third iteration of what I what I envisioned myself being when I was younger.
03:45.15
Jackie
um i used to be a photographer, and I still think that creative thread kind of travels through my work, even up until today, I really, i really enjoy that piece.
03:55.82
Jackie
um For me, I tell this story beginning at, I guess, my first like professional ah part of my career. So I started out in human resources.
04:07.23
Jackie
um And I stuck my hand up for everything. I thought this is what you should do in a corporate environment. And I wanted to learn all of the things. I was like, I don’t care that my job description is this box.
04:19.89
Jackie
I will stick my hand up for everything. And and I want to try and learn everything. um And after… eight years um that did amazing things for my resume. It did very few amazing things for my physical and mental health.
04:34.72
Jackie
um And so I reached that point of burnout. I know we hear that word a lot and and that can perhaps have a different definition from person to person. But for me, that looked like um no longer living and working alongside my values that looked like um putting things that I had previously put at the top of my list of being very important to me, much farther down the list and letting work overtake that.
05:01.91
Jackie
And not being surrounded by people that, i guess, wanted to see me grow and supported me. It was more in ah in a toxic work environment and how much more can you push out and how much later can you work and all of these things. So it took a while for me to really realize that.
05:21.58
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
05:22.19
Jackie
um And so I changed organizations a couple of times again in trying to like recognize that and find something different. um And then I, um out of the blue, when I was 42 years old, I had two strokes.
05:36.47
Jackie
um And I say out of the blue because I was a very independent, healthy person, and I had no ah no idea that anything like that could ever happen to me. um And I went through all of the feelings and emotions, everything from like, why did this happen to me to what right do I have to share my story or have this conversation with anyone because mine’s really not that bad.
05:59.75
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
06:00.12
Jackie
um So all of this kind of allowed me to reevaluate my values and what matters most to me, um what are priorities in my life. And this led me to launching my current business, Coaching That Belongs.
06:13.43
Jackie
um where I support other people to find their sense of belonging at work. um And that that gives me all of the joy every day when I get to do that for folks.
06:23.70
Lorie Jones
So as you were going along and you and you started this first career and said yes to everything, and then you said you worked at a couple more corporate jobs before before you had this wake-up call, like did you say yes to everything there too like did you Did you learn
06:30.38
Jackie
Yeah.
06:36.05
Jackie
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
06:40.54
Lorie Jones
or
06:42.50
Jackie
Yeah, I did. um i would say like in small bite-sized pieces, right? It wasn’t for me um until I had my strokes that that was like a light switch being flipped. Before that, it was like, okay, that experience didn’t feel good. I’m really going to pay attention to that next time and repeat.
07:01.09
Jackie
um But for me, this medical event, it was like a light switch. It was like, oh, my life now needs to look different and I want it to look different.
07:10.66
Lorie Jones
And how did you change it to look different? Like what, what are some of the big things that you, you changed after that experience?
07:13.93
Jackie
Mm-hmm.
07:19.21
Jackie
Yeah, well, I think the biggest one is probably quitting a very well paid, very comfortable um employed position that I think to a lot of people um is a very scary decision to make, right, to go into entrepreneurship.
07:29.87
Lorie Jones
hmm.
07:36.50
Jackie
I know a couple of folks said to me like, gosh, that’s like jumping off a cliff without a life vest. And I’m like, yeah, and and another perspective could be, you know, making way for so many new opportunities.
07:49.79
Jackie
um So I think that’s that’s probably like the biggest thing for me, the biggest step.
07:56.03
Lorie Jones
So you you couldn’t find a way um to make that corporate, well-paying corporate job fit your values or or change it to to work for you. Is that right?
08:08.91
Jackie
Yeah, and that’s a good ah good um ah good question. And it’s not like I couldn’t, but for me, it didn’t even feel like an option. Like I was so strongly being pulled in this direction of coaching and supporting others um in and like doing it my way, right?
08:25.24
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
08:29.58
Jackie
Doing it
08:29.69
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
08:31.13
Jackie
the decisions that I wanted to bring to a business, um all of those things, me leading that felt so important to me. So yes, I could have stayed at that job and and worked with all the people around me to make it fit, but I just didn’t feel like I belong there.
08:49.66
Lorie Jones
hmm. That’s so interesting. Yeah, that’s ah that was kind of what I was getting at is like, could can you could you still have made that position work for you?
08:51.79
Jackie
Yeah.
08:54.40
Jackie
Yeah.
08:58.93
Jackie
Mm-hmm.
08:59.14
Lorie Jones
You were being called another direction, but but could another woman who had that experience, she could still have that success.
09:01.98
Jackie
Yeah.
09:07.25
Lorie Jones
She just might have to change the way she was doing things and reacting to things and stuff like that.
09:12.59
Jackie
Yeah. Oh, absolutely. And I think that it probably could maybe boil down to the question of like, what matters most to you? For me, it was it was
09:19.79
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
09:22.43
Jackie
um leading things on my own, making my own decisions, that creativity that was so important to me. Like I needed to get out of that corporate box, for lack of a better word.
09:33.62
Jackie
For someone else, the safety and security of what that paycheck, et cetera, provided might have been more important. So um I really appreciate that question. And that, that really could be different for everyone for sure.
09:48.43
Lorie Jones
So, Jacqueline, what’s the best investment you’ve made in yourself? Is there something you can kind of look back on on your journey and be like, oh, my gosh, I’m so glad I did that.
09:53.77
Jackie
Hmm.
09:57.79
Lorie Jones
Like, I really, truly wouldn’t be where I’m at today without that.
09:58.64
Jackie
Hmm.
10:01.15
Jackie
Yeah, I think it’s probably building on what we had just talked about, right? Paying attention, like looking inward, like paying attention to what really matters most inside of me.
10:14.12
Jackie
I think often, and I think what I did is i thought this is how you’re supposed to show up, especially in HR. This is a field, um a job where we often have to put ourselves farther down the list, right? The managers we support are the top of that list. The employees we support are the top of that list, the organizations.
10:36.74
Jackie
And it’s a helping role. And so often we get pushed down the priority list there. um And
10:47.97
Jackie
I think for me, I really paid attention to like what mattered most to me in those moments in that moment. And for me, that was um permission to slow down.
11:00.29
Jackie
It was permission to um realize that working at that, you know, 100% in 80 hour work week maybe did well for me in the beginning of my career, but was not sustainable for me, was not a place where I saw myself.
11:16.44
Jackie
um any anymore and so just like realizing that i needed i needed calm i needed peace i needed a different uh way of life every day in my job um and and like saying those words out loud to my boss to my team like that i think for me took a lot of courage
11:40.73
Lorie Jones
I like when you were talking just a little bit about your values, like your life wasn’t aligning with your values. I find that so often in a lot of my clients where they’ll come in and they’ll say, these are the things that I value.
11:48.01
Jackie
okay who
11:52.23
Lorie Jones
But then you see exactly what you were doing. You see these 80 hour work weeks, like I value family, but um I’m working 80 hours and not spending any time with my family. We’re not going on vacations. We’re not I’m not spending my money congruent with what I value the most.
12:04.76
Jackie
Yeah.
12:08.93
Lorie Jones
and And you find it a really uncomfortable place for them to live.
12:09.04
Jackie
Yeah.
12:12.49
Lorie Jones
And so that idea of like a values reset or a values realignment so that you get your, and in my case, I’m always looking at, so you get your money value aligned with your values.
12:13.42
Jackie
Mm-hmm.
12:16.02
Jackie
Mm-hmm.
12:23.68
Lorie Jones
But in your case, it would be like your career values aligned with your values. So you’re not living so far disconnected from what you, what you, what makes you happy and what is really at the core of you, right?
12:36.74
Jackie
Yeah, absolutely. and I think um what you just said, i think is really valid, right? We can have our list of values. We can really connect with those words and,
12:50.50
Jackie
Often something might happen in our day to day life, in our work week or or any kind of situation that might push up against that. And so like, how can we be mindful and keep those values really top of mind? So then when that thing does come and push up against that, we can have the opportunity to kind of step back and be like, what’s happening right now?
13:13.38
Jackie
Why do I feel a push in this conversation, in this decision, in this huge life life ah situation that I need to move forward with? What is that push?
13:25.17
Jackie
And I think um how we might practice mindfulness, how we might remind ourselves of those values, like things like that can maybe bring some awareness or some reminder in those situations.
13:39.02
Jackie
Because I think what you said, like, it’s very true, right? Sometimes we get pushed up by this thing, and we give into it. And we don’t really realize that, hey, this really is pushing up against my value of collaboration, for example.
13:52.61
Jackie
And then a week, a month, a year later, we’re like, hang on a second, why do I feel so out of whack right now? um And again, that’s going to differ for everyone, how we kind of keep those things top of mind.
14:05.04
Lorie Jones
Yeah, that’s so interesting. And, and it it is, it it it just, you put that idea of disconnect kind of in perspective for me and, and gave me a way to think about that.
14:15.46
Lorie Jones
So I like that.
14:16.34
Jackie
Yeah. Yeah.
14:17.31
Lorie Jones
What, um, Declan, what’s the worst advice someone ever gave you? Could you ever think of some really bad advice? And like, did you take the advice? Did you not? I love this question. It’s one of my favorites.
14:26.78
Jackie
Oh, this, I also really like this question for me, when I thought about it, it was the fake it till you make it. um I can appreciate why that might resonate with someone for me that does not resonate at all.
14:42.46
Jackie
I feel like there’s a lot of value in um in being courageous and being vulnerable to say, like, I don’t know this thing right now, but I’m going to learn.
14:58.10
Jackie
Right. I often hear people use the word yet. Right. I don’t know this thing yet, but I can. I’m excited to learn. I’m excited to grow. um For me, the fake it till you make it sounds like i am showing up in a space pretending that i want to be here, know how to be here. And I don’t. And that gives me all of the like yuck feelings inside.
15:23.12
Jackie
So, yeah.
15:25.12
Lorie Jones
ah One of my values is authenticity. And so you will hear me say a lot of times, I don’t know the answer to that, but I’m going to find out because another one is problem solving, like like digging deep and and learning and that sort of thing.
15:27.96
Jackie
Yeah.
15:32.57
Jackie
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
15:38.91
Lorie Jones
So so I would do go find out what your answer is. But but I have noticed that um like I’ve gotten really I have really negative feelings towards someone who will fake it, who will just tell you that they know um the answer or they’ll come up with an answer or they’ll use really, really big words so you don’t understand that they don’t know the answer.
16:02.64
Jackie
yeah right
16:04.30
Lorie Jones
They don’t just say, hey, I don’t know that yet. I love that idea.
16:08.17
Jackie
yeah yeah yeah
16:08.57
Lorie Jones
I don’t know that yet, but I’ll figure it out. Yeah.
16:13.84
Lorie Jones
um What about a situation that you’ve gone through kind of along your journey that you might, you would do differently? You can look back and you’d say, gosh, I know things now.
16:24.46
Lorie Jones
If I could redo that, I would do it differently. And this is how.
16:30.29
Jackie
Um, a few things came up for me when I was thinking about this question. And I think um probably the largest one for me was being able to speak up when I felt like I saw something that was not respecting someone was not leading with integrity.
16:51.68
Jackie
um i think perhaps like a lot of us that may identify as female um show up in the workplace with a lot of ah older men in those senior positions.
17:09.11
Jackie
And I think those conversations make it, at least for me, hard to speak up perhaps with a different perspective or sharing this does not feel like we’re maybe considering all the options when we’re making this decision.
17:23.25
Jackie
and I think early in my career, I did not speak up in any of those. I just went along. um And a lot of them later like, and felt like felt like the wrong decision, even though perhaps I wasn’t the main decision maker.
17:38.39
Jackie
But I think now it’s having that language, it’s having a little bit more confidence to speak up and say, what else could we be missing when we’re considering this decision? Who else might we be missing in this conversation?
17:51.73
Jackie
um and like I say, just, yeah, feeling confident to to speak up and share in moments like that.
17:57.63
Lorie Jones
I’ve often and wondered because a lot of times you are kind of dismissed um as a young person coming up through that um you know, you you make your mistakes and it’s up and down and all that sort of thing.
18:14.37
Lorie Jones
How do you how would you see yourself speaking up? Like how, what words would you use? How would you do that for a young person in that?
18:25.82
Jackie
Yeah. Mm. Mm.
18:27.05
Lorie Jones
Because a lot of times they are dismissed just out of hand. Like
18:30.72
Jackie
Yeah, yeah, no, that’s a good question. I mean, I always lean to open-ended questions that might evoke um some additional thought from someone else.
18:42.66
Jackie
Like we could go into those by being very, again, if we’re going back to Kim Scott’s book, right? Being very direct and um ah coming at it more from a critique perspective, which might not get what you’re after from the person you’re in this conversation with.
18:58.47
Jackie
But if we can ask open-ended questions, if we can you you know maybe even say things like, like I just said a moment ago, what else why maybe what what else might we be missing in this conversation?
19:09.08
Jackie
What else could we considering?
19:09.67
Lorie Jones
and my
19:11.40
Jackie
Or what about problem A that we addressed last week? How could that inform this decision that we’re making now? um I think those conversations or those types of questions allow people to reflect for a moment and maybe step into it as more of a collaborative nature rather than i’m hitting you hard with I don’t think this is a good decision.
19:28.99
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
19:35.06
Lorie Jones
I like that i idea. Not accusatory, but it gives you them room to explain. And maybe, you know, during that explanation, they might come up with other things they hadn’t thought of or, you know, hey, that’s a good point.
19:50.18
Lorie Jones
um Yeah, I like that idea. asking of it And that probably translates really well. Even to today, like I’m on the, ah I’m not that young newbie in my profession anymore.
19:59.65
Jackie
Mm hmm.
20:03.21
Lorie Jones
I’m here, but it’s still when you have, when you have something that you see differently than other people asking a lot of open-ended questions is a really good way to get on the same page too.
20:12.75
Jackie
who
20:15.20
Lorie Jones
Don’t you think?
20:16.68
Jackie
Well, yeah, and you will probably and you’ve probably experienced this also, you’ll probably learn more about that person in the process. Right. You will learn where they’re coming from in this conversation with that decision.
20:29.40
Jackie
You will learn maybe what matters to them when they’re trying to make this decision. That might be a really hard one. um You might even learn about like what their bias might be in in not considering a different perspective if you ask an open-ended question. So I do think if we’re working with people and we really want to seek to understand, these open-ended questions can be a great place to not only learn about the topic we’re discussing, but the person that we’re having conversation with.
21:00.26
Lorie Jones
Yeah, I like that.
21:03.35
Lorie Jones
What about if you could go back along your path and give yourself a great big high five for some financial decision that you made?
21:09.76
Jackie
I would say probably
21:12.23
Lorie Jones
What would that be?
21:16.20
Jackie
buying real estate. i would say
21:22.30
Jackie
i would say probably buying real estate
21:28.03
Jackie
and I wouldn’t say at an early point in in my life because that wasn’t an option for me. But at the point that I did, it was helpful and it has supported me moving on through my my future financial decisions.
21:44.21
Jackie
um Yeah.
21:45.96
Lorie Jones
Yeah. um I just learned, i was at a ah networking group the other day and I just learned that the average age for first time home buyers, and i I can’t remember what they said in Colorado or nationally is between 38 and 42 years old.
22:02.76
Lorie Jones
Isn’t that crazy?
22:02.83
Jackie
Wow.
22:04.10
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
22:04.48
Jackie
Wow. I wonder it would be interesting to see too.
22:05.57
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
22:07.30
Jackie
i’m sure there’s stats out there like how that has shifted.
22:10.26
Lorie Jones
Yeah. Yeah, because, ah you know, we bought our first home much younger than that with some help.
22:12.08
Jackie
Yeah.
22:16.62
Lorie Jones
But um my kids are buying their first home younger than that.
22:17.09
Jackie
Yeah.
22:21.10
Lorie Jones
So financial preparedness, I guess.
22:22.09
Jackie
yeah
22:23.86
Lorie Jones
But yeah, that’s it.
22:24.03
Jackie
Totally. Yeah.
22:25.38
Lorie Jones
It does make a difference. It does make a difference through your whole life. Yeah.
22:28.78
Jackie
Yeah. Yeah.
22:30.23
Lorie Jones
um What scared you the most when you started your career, like or when you started along your journey? um And does it still scare you?
22:39.63
Jackie
um What scared me the most was feeling like I had to show up to every conversation and know the answers.
22:46.60
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
22:47.65
Jackie
I think especially um in my HR career, um
22:54.92
Jackie
Having, there’s a lot of areas where we might find, where we may find and will find answers to employee issues, right? um And feeling like I had to show up to every conversation, not knowing the conversation in advance. It’s a measure and manager going like, help, something has gone totally Hey, wire, really need your advice and your guidance on this. I don’t know what the situation is. So I’ll go into that meeting.
23:20.34
Jackie
And I put so much pressure on myself feeling like I had to have all of the answers right then and there. I didn’t feel like I had the ability to say, like we said earlier, give me a moment, I’ll go source that for you.
23:25.69
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
23:31.78
Jackie
And I’ll come back with with the answer. And I think that put a lot of pressure on myself. um I would go into those meetings feeling very nervous.
23:46.04
Jackie
And, you know, i think recognizing that no one is going to have all of the answers all of the time and being able to say to that person, this is what I feel really confident about, these three buckets of information over here and these two, I’m going to go research for you and then we can I can bring you that information we can make our decision moving forward.
24:05.59
Jackie
I look at like, I just even look at that example right there. There’s nothing wrong with that. And having the confidence to have that conversation with someone in that way. And how I might feel if someone said that to me, I’d be like, amazing, cool, chat with you tomorrow, then, like, there’s nothing wrong with that.
24:21.47
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
24:21.50
Jackie
So I feel like that that brought me a lot of um a lot of feelings of fear and and scare scariness early on in my career.
24:30.64
Lorie Jones
It probably got a little bit better too as you started kind of learning those answers. So that you could pop some of them off at the top of your head and and there’s fewer and fewer that you had to go back and research and learn.
24:43.46
Jackie
Yeah, absolutely. Right. And there’s the big buckets of of sources of of information that we would need to know. Absolutely. And every employee situation is going to be a little bit different. There’s going to be different different pieces we have to navigate to put it all together to make the best decision moving forward.
25:00.59
Jackie
um So I think all of this can still be can still be present.
25:07.52
Lorie Jones
um Did you face any unique challenges along the path because you were a woman?
25:14.07
Jackie
o um I feel like i feel like as a woman, probably building on what we talked about a minute ago, um often And I’m glad to see that I feel like this is changing, um but often folks in these leadership roles are often held by men.
25:38.28
Jackie
And um as women, as younger women, um I don’t have children by choice, but I’ve experienced, I’ve observed folks who, women who do have children by choice coming back from from ah maternity leave, leaving on a maternity leave.
25:52.99
Jackie
um we get We get discounted, um often not considered to be um as in the know, as in in the in the conversation so much.
26:04.08
Jackie
And I feel like that um does halt a lot of women’s careers.
26:09.41
Lorie Jones
you
26:09.57
Jackie
um So yeah, I don’t feel like that is enough enough attention is paid to… um women in the workplace because we do have that um wonderful ability to leave and start a family and come back um with just the knowledge, skills, and abilities that we have left with.
26:31.64
Jackie
We were talking about a maternity leave, a medical leave, like all of these things exist. And so I think, yeah, as women, I think um those challenges still exist.
26:43.00
Lorie Jones
Yeah. um And you do, you see that quite a bit where um they’ve taken time off to do, and you know, to have kids, to raise kids, to to whatever, and they come back and um sometimes discounted in the workplace where it adds a richness, I think, a lot of times to their experience or, you know, if you’re taking we We do, as women, have a lot of caretaking roles.
27:10.13
Lorie Jones
So it’s not just taking care of kids.
27:11.17
Jackie
Yeah.
27:12.21
Lorie Jones
It’s taking care of parents. It’s taking care of significant others.
27:14.18
Jackie
Mm-hmm.
27:15.65
Lorie Jones
Like, we’re were’re pulled a lot of different directions.
27:17.26
Jackie
Yeah.
27:18.82
Lorie Jones
and And how do you think it’s changing?
27:19.68
Jackie
Mm-hmm.
27:22.28
Jackie
Mm-hmm.
27:23.76
Lorie Jones
You said, i think this is changing. How do you think it’s, how do you see that?
27:28.71
Jackie
i again, and I say this without stats in front of me, but I do feel like um the role of a woman in leadership positions is changing. I feel like we are seeing more women in those roles.
27:42.59
Jackie
And I do think that’s bringing more um more ah awareness to what, as women, we can bring to to all levels of roles in an organization.
27:53.41
Jackie
um So I think, yeah, that’s what I meant by i have hope that that is changing. um And I just think the diversity that can exist in that leadership team, in that organization by having folks of different um life experiences, different work experiences, all different experiences, the like you said, I think the richest is a great word. The richness that that can bring to um to an organization, to decision-making is is really, really valuable.
28:25.48
Lorie Jones
Yeah. Yeah. I like to see diverse um boards diverse, C-suites diverse, you know, because then you’re getting a lot of different opinions, not just all the same exact way of thinking.
28:31.30
Jackie
Yeah.
28:38.25
Lorie Jones
I love that, that diversity.
28:39.01
Jackie
Yeah. Yeah.
28:41.37
Lorie Jones
um What is the thing, Jacqueline, that you are most proud of?
28:48.42
Jackie
Mm-hmm. I feel like I am most proud of um Going through my medical experience and having that change my life as much as it did um and using that as, as I would even say more than in part, in whole, my, my purpose now.
29:12.94
Jackie
I’m able to draw on my lived experience combined with my work experience to support others. So like early in my healing journey, there was a time where I had not accepted what happened to me. i was very in that why did this happen stage.
29:30.76
Jackie
um And it took me a while to get out of that. I feel like I could have sat in that stage for much, much longer. um But I feel like I’m really proud that I was able to um use that ah traumatic experience we experience that I went through and use it to support others um in the form of my business. So I think that’s something that I’m most proud of.
29:55.96
Lorie Jones
Oh, that’s amazing. And, and what a way to change kind of a, a hard thing into something that just really enriches your life and others’ lives as well.
30:09.27
Lorie Jones
Any advice for a young lady who’s kind of just starting down this path to help her be successful like you?
30:17.72
Jackie
I would say, um and it’s it’s funny, like the practical practice of of coaching that i provide isn’t advice coaching. So I work with people to be their partner, to help them identify what matters most to them. And in that…
30:34.52
Jackie
we partner together to decide next steps, their journey goals, all of that thing. So I say this, it has some advice in it, but I just want to qualify that in advance. But I would say the advice that I would, I would give is don’t chase the shoulds.
30:49.16
Jackie
So ah society around us, potentially a boss, maybe it’s parents, maybe it’s other things that are going to perhaps make you feel like you should do something. You should follow a specific path. You should get a specific job.
31:05.32
Jackie
You should have children, not have children, all of the things. I would say pay attention to those. They may be really relevant for you. the should may align with you.
31:18.46
Jackie
What I would say is like, just pay attention to them because they may not, they may feel like they’re coming from somewhere else and they may not align with your values, what matters most to you.
31:29.62
Jackie
um And if they don’t, then what does that tell you? Maybe there’s something deeper there that you want to be paying attention to. Yeah.
31:39.12
Lorie Jones
Is there a trick for knowing?
31:39.38
Jackie
Yeah.
31:40.92
Lorie Jones
Like use you say this should, like should, you know, don’t feel like you have to do that or like that fits you. Like, but like, is there a trick for like, oh, they say I should do this, but I, I feel, you know, like, how do you know not to, not to do the shoulds?
31:48.30
Jackie
Yeah.
31:54.27
Jackie
o Oh, feel like Laura, that’s like the million dollar question.
31:59.20
Lorie Jones
I know, know.
31:59.98
Jackie
Yeah.
32:00.26
Lorie Jones
I wish you could answer it for me. I really hope you can. Yeah.
32:03.32
Jackie
yeah I would say, um and again, this is just my my perspective. it’s It’s, and I’ve used this word a couple of times, so I hope it doesn’t feel too repetitive, but it’s understanding what What matters most to you, it’s understanding how you may align with your purpose, what your purpose is.
32:16.84
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
32:22.25
Jackie
um And does the thing that it’s coming at you that may feel like a should, does that match? Because it might not. And you know what? It might.
32:34.39
Jackie
But I think the shoulds often come from something external. That could be society, that could be another person, but they come from someone else’s or something else’s perspective, right? And so you have the ability to look at that and be like, okay, this is coming at me.
32:53.25
Jackie
Do I want this?
32:54.87
Lorie Jones
huh
32:55.24
Jackie
And I think that’s that’s like a topic that I love working with my clients about so much is like, where does your agency fit into that? You don’t have to do all of the things that come at you, all of the things that people say, this is the great way to you know make an amazing corporate career.
33:09.11
Lorie Jones
yeah
33:10.65
Jackie
or This is the great way to have an amazing family or life or all the things. Those are external forces coming at you that you have agency to be like, does that align with me?
33:21.56
Lorie Jones
yeah Oh, that’s so smart. That actually is a really, really good answer, Jacqueline.
33:25.72
Jackie
yeah the
33:28.98
Lorie Jones
So I love the idea of kind of like evaluating it and and seeing like, this is what I’m being told. Is it true or not? I always tell my kids, a lot of times they’ll find all sorts of crap on the internet and they’ll come with me with this fact.
33:36.46
Jackie
yeah yeah
33:41.12
Jackie
and
33:42.92
Lorie Jones
And I’m like, what’s your source? And so they they always have to source it for me.
33:45.29
Jackie
ah
33:47.79
Lorie Jones
and And then we decide whether or not we believe it based on where it’s sourced from or whether we might need more information.
33:48.56
Jackie
yeah
33:55.03
Lorie Jones
So that’s kind of what you’re telling me is these, all this information is coming towards me.
33:55.38
Jackie
Yeah.
33:59.19
Lorie Jones
We need to see if, if it fits our values, like where’s the source and is it, is it true for me or is it, is it not true for me?
34:01.30
Jackie
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
34:08.15
Lorie Jones
I love that. That’s so great.
34:08.92
Jackie
Oh, I love that, Laurie. And like, if we, if we think about that and if I’m taking what you’re saying, like maybe we are the source. Yeah. Right?
34:20.23
Jackie
Like all of these things coming at us, does it align with us? Perhaps we are the source. I don’t know.
34:25.17
Lorie Jones
Yeah, like we’re the end all be all of of source information and does it align?
34:29.19
Jackie
Yeah.
34:29.45
Lorie Jones
Is it is it good from the source? I like that. So that’s cool.
34:32.91
Jackie
Yeah.
34:33.92
Lorie Jones
um
34:33.89
Jackie
Okay, cool.
34:35.08
Lorie Jones
Thank you so much for being on the podcast today and for just sharing your journey and your story.
34:37.54
Jackie
Hmm.
34:41.37
Lorie Jones
I really appreciated it. If I have a young lady who wants to ask some questions or um dig deeper into something you’ve said, how does she get in touch with you?
34:50.50
Jackie
Oh, I appreciate that so much. So my website is www.coachingthatbelongs.com. um And there’s an opportunity there to book a no cost 30 minute intro. And so that can be about whatever you want.
35:05.06
Jackie
That can be I have questions or I want to build on something that you said in that podcast or I’m interested in coaching. um I open my calendar up to people for those amazing conversations. So if that’s that’s the best way.
35:15.79
Lorie Jones
Oh, thank you so much. Thank you for giving back. that i I find it so um just inspirational when I find women that are so willing to give back. So thank you very much for doing that. Thanks for your time today.
35:29.42
Jackie