By Lorie Jones, Fearless Financial Advisor
I have a different definition of Fearless than other people. When I started my podcast “Fearless Females” it was built on the idea that courage is built in those moments when you are scared to death, terrified, and doing it anyway. You heart is pounding, voice shaking, hands sweating, and you show up trying your best in spite of your knocking knees.
If you have ever thought “When I feel ready I will finally…” fill in the blank. Start the business, ask for the raise, make that investment, take that trip, hire the help you need) then this is for you.
Fear Isn’t the Enemy — It’s the Compass
In her book Do It Scared, Ruth Soukup talks about the seven fear archetypes — perfectionism, procrastination, rule-following, people-pleasing, pessimism, outcasting, and self-doubt. (Sound familiar?)
Most of us have at least one of those sitting in the driver’s seat, whispering stories about what might go wrong if we take that next step. I think I have all seven cluttering up the front seat of my life. Sometimes I let one of those pesky seven take the driver’s seat, read the map and choose the music on the drive, instead of making them sit in the back seat where they belong, buckled up tight and only allowed to talk when I give them permission.
Fear isn’t always the enemy. Sometimes it deserves a seat in the car, just not behind the wheel. In fact, fear can be your built-in GPS, quietly pointing you toward growth. That knot in your stomach before you do something big? That’s the same energy that says, “This matters. Keep going.”
The strongest women I know don’t pretend they aren’t afraid; they’ve just stopped letting fear drive, or even ride shotgun. Confidence doesn’t show up before the journey begins; it’s something you find along the road, mile by mile, once you start moving.
Confidence Doesn’t Come First
Most of us were taught fear the wrong way.
From the time we were little, we were told to “be careful,” “play it safe,” and “don’t take unnecessary risks.” Boys were praised for being bold, while girls were often praised for being good or nice.
It’s subtle, but it shapes us.
We learn to double-check, overthink, and make sure everyone else is comfortable before we move. We become experts at preparation instead of action. And when it comes to money, business, or even asking for what we deserve, that early programming whispers, What if you mess it up? What if you fail?
We start feeling that once we feel more capable, educated, qualified, beautiful – THEN we will take action. But that isn’t how this works. Confidence is built in the action, it comes after the first shaky step.
Think about the first time you spoke up in an important meeting, the first time you invested in yourself, the first time you said no and held a boundary. Your hands shook, your voice might have been quiet and not as confident, but you did it. That moment built evidence that you could do hard things.
That is what Fearless means at Fearless Financial. Not the absence of fear, but the decision to move forward anyway, eyes open, heart steady, plan in hand.
The Financial side of fear
You might think fear only shows up in life’s big moments, but I see it every day in my life.
Fear of investing because the market feels uncertain, or a war started, or a political party did or didn’t win.
Fear of asking questions because you feel you “should already know this.”
Fear of leaving a financial advisor who talks over you because you don’t want to be “difficult”
Just like all fear, financial fear thrives in silence. The minute you step up, take charge, make that first scary step in the right direction, you win.
That is why I talk so much about staying Fearless.
You don’t need to leap without a parachute, that is irresponsible and messy. You just need to stop waiting for the wind to feel absolutely perfect before you jump. Your financial plan is your parachute, it doesn’t stop the leap from feeling scary, but it helps give you a soft landing and a feeling of control.
The Seven Faces of Fear (and How to Outsmart Them)
Soukup’s “fear archetypes” are a great framework to spot how fear sneaks into your life:
- The Procrastinator says, I’ll start when it’s the perfect time.
- The Rule Follower says, What if I make a mistake?
- The People Pleaser says, What will they think of me?
- The Outcast says, I’ll just do it myself — no one gets me.
- The Self-Doubter says, Who am I to do this?
- The Pessimist says, It’ll never work anyway.
- The Perfectionist says, It’s not ready yet.
Sound familiar? Yeah I recognize all these scary voices keeping me from really being who I’m meant to become.
But once you recognize which voice belongs to your inner fear archetype, you can stop taking her so seriously. You can look at her, smile, and say, Thanks for the warning, but I’ve got this.
Fear in Disguise
Fear doesn’t always announce itself as panic. Sometimes, it hides behind productivity. You tell yourself you just need to do a little more research, organize your files, color-code your budget, just get one more degree. But really, you’re avoiding the decision.
Fear can also hide behind busyness. When you fill every waking moment to avoid facing the thing that’s really keeping you stuck.
And sometimes fear hides behind humor or humility: Oh, me? I’m not good with numbers. or I’m just not ready to invest yet.
That’s not the truth. That’s fear wearing a cute little disguise.
Do it Scared – But with support
You don’t have to do it alone, you can face that fear and stay supported.
That is what we help women build at Fearless Financial Advisors. A community, a plan, a foundation that lets you take the leap knowing someone has got your back.
Fearless doesn’t mean doing it all yourself, it means asking for help when you need it, and maybe making a few friends along the way.
So here’s your challenge this week: Do one thing scared. Make a call, ask the question, open the statement, say no, even if your voice shakes.
Courage doesn’t mean you are not afraid, it just means you have decided to stop waiting for the fear to leave before you start living.
Stay Fearless – Be scared, do it anyway.
