In today’s episode, we’re chatting with Mary Gaul, a speaker, author, and business coach with a wealth of experience.
Mary shares her career journey, from starting as a travel agent to founding her own businesses. Hear her thoughts on handling imposter syndrome, setting work–life boundaries, and encouraging meaningful conversations with people of different viewpoints.
Plus, get practical advice on embracing new challenges and staying inspired. Join us for an episode full of insights and advice from a true trailblazer!
Show Highlights:
- The power of an “I wonder” outlook for unlimited success. [00:07:19]
- Discover tips to shatter inert tedium for greater heights. [00:11:57]
- Learn about boundary-setting importance. [00:14:02]
- Why an early-life habit of facing challenges builds courage. [00:16:49]
- How to hear the correct no vs. the wrong yes. [00:20:52]
- Delve into turning missteps into touchstones. [00:26:57]
- Unlock useful steps to overcome impostor syndrome. [00:34:40]
- Explore transferring female wisdom to the workplace. [00:41:11]
- Seize upon this game-changing rip on raising your hand. [00:48:44]
For more information or to connect with Mary, visit https://www.linkedin.com/in/marygaulcoach
If you enjoyed this episode, please go to Apple Podcasts and leave a review!
For more information about Lorie Jones, go to http://fearless-females.com/.
00:01.99
loriejones7
Good morning so we're here with Mary Gaul today she is a speaker author and business coach for success magnified I'm so excited that we get to have a conversation with her today I think that um you know as far as our audience goes where. Ah, a bunch of younger women kind of on the beginning of their journey and I really think that not only your story can help inspire Mary but I'm I'm thinking you're. You know the work that you do is actually quite inspiring and very useful to them. So thank you? So so much for joining us today.
00:40.65
Mary Gaul
You're welcome. Thank you for having me I love being a podcast guest. So thank you for having a podcast and then getting the information out there. You know there's so many ways that we can share our knowledge and I just appreciate people who have a platform for me to be able to come and share some of my knowledge see.
00:55.32
loriejones7
Yeah, it's great. It's nice to get that synergy and have so many women just kind of building and growing and helping um those that are in their circle. It's inspiring for me to listen to that. So thank you for being willing so my first.
01:07.13
Mary Gaul
Yeah.
01:11.22
loriejones7
Question mary is I was the same it's I'm a reader I love reading I love I love reading everything and ah my book on the side of my bedstand has actually gotten larger since I started this podcast because I've got like 20 other suggestions that are great. What's your favorite book.
01:21.43
Mary Gaul
I.
01:28.53
Mary Gaul
Oh gosh it changes all the time but I love to read as well. I'm an audible listener. So I listen to books most of the time. Um and I'm in a book club. So I'm constantly getting exposed to new things. I used to say my favorite book was the outlander series right? So I love by Den Diana gabbleon good gobbleon not how to say her last name but I love that series I've reread all the books a couple of times I own them all I've listened to them all I just love the storytelling in that.
01:44.94
loriejones7
E.
02:01.40
Mary Gaul
But there's been a couple of other books that have really impacted me recently in the last few years and one I just saw they made into a Netflix series of called we are the lucky ones? Um, really amazing story historical fiction. But based on a true story of a family. Ah, of ah jewish immigrants who or they weren't immigrants but they get separated during the holocaust and then come back together and go on to live normal lives and one of the granddaughters kind of discovered this thread and what happened to all of them during the holocaust and it was just such a well-told story.
02:34.28
loriejones7
A.
02:37.52
Mary Gaul
And then storytelling wise we just read one for book club called once upon a river by Dan Diana setiffield amazing storytelling like the metaphors and the visual.
02:40.35
loriejones7
Yeah.
02:51.78
Mary Gaul
Imagery and the way they weave storytelling into the story and different levels of storytelling. It was just so well written I Really really enjoyed that one too. So I love historical fiction. But I also like some crime dramas and I like you know, love it all those kind of things in there but characters that really capture you that you're.
03:06.10
loriejones7
Um, yeah.
03:10.40
Mary Gaul
Find yourself thinking about the characters like I wonder what that character's doing right now or what they would be doing in this situation right? That's what the outlander series was for me so I was like I wonder what Jamie and Claire are up to right now. So.
03:19.61
loriejones7
I Love that I Love when an author makes their their characters so real that you really do think they're somewhere doing something right now. So well, that's great I Love the idea of fiction too because I you know when I have a free minute.
03:29.70
Mary Gaul
Um, right? Yeah yeah.
03:39.48
loriejones7
Um, or when I'm on vacation or something like that I love to grab a book but I I have a hard time picking up ones that I'm not sure I'll like so I'm I'm grateful for all these suggestions so something easy and and good and fun to read so tell me.
03:47.30
Mary Gaul
I mean.
03:53.93
Mary Gaul
Yes, yes.
03:57.97
loriejones7
Little bit about your journey mary how did you get where you are today kind of what do you do? Um, what what led you to this point where you're at.
04:08.80
Mary Gaul
Yeah I ah am very blessed to get to do what I absolutely love every day right? and unfortunately not everybody has the ability to say that I'm in my mid 50 s I'm 56 and ah worked. You know from the time I was I had a lawn mowing business with my younger sister and my 12 and then worked in the fields I grew up in Kansas so we worked in the fields and then babysat you know? So I've worked for a long time right? and then worked my way through high school and college and then ah went to work full time in the corporate world. And had quite a journey I was a travel agent for a while which was fun and then moved to Denver to the big city and you know found my way in a couple of different organizations and really was able to grow my skillset by raising my hand. And know that's one of the questions we're gonna get into later. What advice would you give to people raise your hand take on new projects because I always just had this curiosity like or I could figure I had the ability to figure things out right? So I was like yeah I'll take on that project I'll figure it out I don't know what? Ah how to do it yet. But I could figure it out.
05:11.39
loriejones7
Measure.
05:20.79
Mary Gaul
And that really led me some really fun places in the corporate world and then when I left the corporate world I have 2 daughters who are twenty four and twenty seven so you know in the process of having them took a little bit of time off and you know in and out of corporate jobs and then. Ran a law firm for 10 years and did everything but practice law was really fun. So literally I started out as a receptionist and then ended up being the office manager right? and doing all of the ah hr and the I t and the ah.
05:43.93
loriejones7
Um, yeah.
05:48.98
loriejones7
The hint.
05:56.74
Mary Gaul
Strategy and marketing and all that kind of stuff right? So um because I kept raising my hand say yeah I'll take on that project I can do that I'll figure that out right? and so when I had been at the law firm for 10 years and I kind of had done everything I could do there except become a paralegal or a lawyer which wasn't in my.
06:16.65
Mary Gaul
Design. Um, so I had some friends I thought Okay, it's time for me to go get another job and I didn't really want to do that but was like well maybe that's the next step right? Go to a larger law firm and.
06:30.94
loriejones7
Um, me.
06:33.50
Mary Gaul
Um, had some friends encourage me to start my own business and I was like I don't know that's pretty risky I don't know if I'd do that. What would I Even do you know what kind of business would I start and somebody gave me this advice to ask myself the question I wonder and just start asking the question I wonder.
06:38.83
loriejones7
Yeah.
06:51.88
Mary Gaul
Wonder what? my next job will look like I wonder if I'll start a business I Wonder what kind of people I would work with I Wonder if my office will have a window I Wonder if I'll have to commute downtown. You know, just start asking I wonder questions and then paying attention to what shows up for you. So I started to do that and.
07:03.47
loriejones7
Um.
07:10.59
Mary Gaul
I kept seeing this stuff about virtual assistant companies and this was in 13 so it wasn't as popular. It wasn't ah you know we weren't we were online but not there wasn't a lot of virtual assistants especially in the corporate world. We just didn't you know you hired maybe contractors or something. But.
07:12.57
loriejones7
Oh wow.
07:27.76
Mary Gaul
Thought of a virtual assistant wasn't really in my realm but I kept seeing it and and the the clicker for me was I was volunteering at my daughter's book fair at her junior high school and there was a book at the book fair about starting a virtual assistant company. And I was like how random is that that is here and so I bought the book and um was like I I have all those skills I think I could do this so I so quit my you know took six months kind of put a plan together saved some money up and quit my job. And started my company and that is eleven years ago already that I started that company I still own and operate it. Um, and then jumping into entrepreneurship when you've been a corporate employee your whole life is completely different. There's so much you have to learn as a business owner. I.
08:13.85
loriejones7
Um.
08:18.75
Mary Gaul
With it in about six or eight months I got to capacity I was like I can't take on another client I'm working way more than I did in my full-time job. This is way more work. This is not what I signed up for and I realized I needed some help even though I had done these services and I was doing these services for other people. I couldn't apply them to my own business right? You can't see the forest for the trees kind of thing. So I hired a business coach and joined a peer advisory board and started taking workshops and courses to educate myself as an entrepreneur and really find that support community there and that made all the difference.
08:41.72
loriejones7
Um, because.
08:54.84
loriejones7
And.
08:57.50
Mary Gaul
And within about a year I had remodeled my my va business which is called the gift of time um, hired on contractors was able to keep taking on clients and repackage how we service those clients and then I loved the coaching experience so much that I said this is what I really want to do. And it's what I had been doing my whole life I just didn't call it coaching and so so I got certified to be a business coach and then started the gift of time or started success magnified in 2015 so that company's 9 years old already and absolutely love.
09:20.10
loriejones7
Um, no.
09:34.39
Mary Gaul
Every day that I get to work with clients. It's just so much fun and it's easy for me. it's it's I can have 5 different completely different conversations about somebody's business with each client right? But it's just easy for me. It just flows I love it and I'm good at it. So um. That's kind of a long long story to tell you how I get to where I am today. So now.
09:56.48
loriejones7
Yeah, that's a lot of different things. Did you did you go to school for like did you get a degree in ah um, ah.
10:02.80
Mary Gaul
I went to school to become a travel agent and that's what I did for about a year then and then the rest is just due to you know, kind of general study and learning how to figure things out really? That's what I learned in school is how can I figure things out and.
10:10.69
loriejones7
Um, yeah.
10:18.59
loriejones7
Um, yeah, any particular field That's just so interesting and that was about the the time um internet was starting to phase out like we used to have travel agents and.
10:21.43
Mary Gaul
More so than just any particular topic. Yeah, you.
10:32.94
loriejones7
And it and that job isn't You don't really have them anymore.
10:33.31
Mary Gaul
Yes, right? They're starting to come back because people are just overwhelmed by too many choices on Google so I actually know 2 travel agents right now. Um, they're starting to come back because people don't want to do all the research themselves. But.
10:41.33
loriejones7
Um, oh yeah.
10:49.30
Mary Gaul
Yeah, back in the day I had to memorize all the airport codes and then we actually printed out and mailed tickets to people you know their tickets and stuff like that. So yeah, it was a fun job back in the early 90 s when I did that.
10:59.93
loriejones7
And how did you I you mentioned so many different areas and that you were you know that you went into but it seems like you've found your passion like you've you've come you know full circle and you've found your passion. How did how did.
11:11.64
Mary Gaul
Yes.
11:19.18
loriejones7
That work for you like ah I would I would maybe get distracted at the like law Firm Era and I'd be like oh this is what I'm supposed to do for the rest of my life like how did you keep fluid and open to new ideas.
11:33.00
Mary Gaul
Um I think it does just come I get bored easily. So if I'm doing the same thing over and over I start to get a little bored and I'll start looking around like H I remember when I started a law firm I was ah my girls were both young.
11:44.20
loriejones7
Um.
11:47.20
Mary Gaul
Preschool age or staying at home and so I was working just a couple days a week when I started there and I went to work in the front as of the front desk receptionist and I was like okay I was looking at the website and I said did you guys realize that there's a couple of broken links and there's some typos on this page and. You know I just was reading through the website to familiarize myself with the law firm and they were like oh well can you fix that and I was like I don't I don't know how to program a website but I went to again this is 2013 right? So we didn't have same technical tools that we have now. But I said let me find out. Me find out about it right? So I found a class in html programming took the class online and was able to learn some basic programming skills. So I could log in and fix the back into their website right? So it's just a matter of I've always just had that ability to look around and see a problem and say I think I can fix that.
12:40.46
loriejones7
Okay.
12:43.46
Mary Gaul
Not sure how don't really have the skillset but I'm going to raise my hand and figure it out or sometimes those just get once you kind of get the reputation as somebody who does that then those kind of things start showing up. You know you get known in your corporation or in the office as.
12:45.43
loriejones7
Um, yeah.
13:00.93
Mary Gaul
Give it to Mary she can figure it out. She'll fix it right? So yeah.
13:02.40
loriejones7
Yeah, yeah, I love that? Yeah how um how did you this is kind of a selfish question on my part but. You start raising your hand and then everyone calls on you and your your plate gets fuller and Fuller and Fuller right? So how did you do that balance between hey I can do that I can figure it out and hey maybe this is something I don't really need to be doing and filling up my plate with this.
13:18.30
Mary Gaul
You.
13:29.32
Mary Gaul
Yes, and that does happen and it happened to me frequently right? because they were like oh my gosh now I got this whole website design thing and now I'm taking on all the marketing for all the attorneys and the little lla right? And so it's like you kind of have to muddle your way through which is not. You know what people want to hear. It's not the magic answer but there is something about setting some boundaries and I teach this now to my clients I teach a whole series of courses around this but what brings you joy and paying attention to those things like.
13:52.21
loriejones7
Yeah.
14:01.79
loriejones7
Um.
14:06.43
Mary Gaul
At one point I was managing this spreadsheet for the budgets of the law firm and it had 72 tabs and they were all interconnected. So if you broke 1 tab somewhere it affected all the cells on the other tabs. It was a nightmare so it was you know and I love excel my mind kind of thinks in rows and columns right? but.
14:20.55
loriejones7
Um.
14:26.25
Mary Gaul
But at the same time that was not bringing me joy every time I had to go in and interact with that spreadsheet was like oh this is such a pain right? I don't enjoy this I could do it I developed the skills to do it, but it wasn't feeding me with joy and it seems kind of. Selfish or even trite to kind of say find things that bring you joy right? Follow your joy and you won't work a day in your life. But it's so true when you find the things that you're good at that. You're naturally good at and that bring you joy and energy.
14:50.30
loriejones7
Yeah.
15:01.70
Mary Gaul
Then you can take on more of that work because it doesn't feel like work but at the same time you do still have to set boundaries right? So I had little kids at home and a husband at home and I was volunteering at their school so I had clear boundaries about okay I have to leave by this time you know I might.
15:01.82
loriejones7
And here.
15:18.18
Mary Gaul
Might log in and work remotely in the evenings if I had a big project going on or something but I said I won't work weekends and I have to be able to go pick up my kids from daycare. So I just set that boundary from the very beginning and held to it because that was more important to me than the job.
15:28.88
loriejones7
E.
15:37.70
loriejones7
Um, yeah.
15:37.65
Mary Gaul
Even though I got a lot of satisfaction from the job too. But there is a balance between taking on too many things and then if you're going to be assigned a bigger project. There were a couple of times when I had to go and say okay that means these things aren't getting done or they need to go to somebody else because I.
15:43.26
loriejones7
Um, and.
15:48.90
loriejones7
1
15:54.30
Mary Gaul
Need to spend all the time over here. You've told me that's a priority. So now I have to you know juggle something. So that means this isn't isn't getting done or somebody else has to take it off my plate and so I had a couple of those conversations with my with my bosses and they were.
15:58.57
loriejones7
Yeah.
16:10.43
Mary Gaul
Open to that right? I think it just comes down to communication and saying I'm happy to take on more projects but I can only take on so many before something else has to move off the plate more.
16:17.81
loriejones7
Yeah, before something gives I Love that I Love that Idea. So if you look back over your trajectory and your path and your process.. What do you think which you say is the best investment you ever made in in yourself. Is there something you can point to where you're like oh. I hadn't had done that.
16:39.23
Mary Gaul
Yeah, um I didn't necessarily make this investment my parents really did when I was in high school but but it was a big game changer for me. So I'm from a big family 1 of 8 kids grew up in a smallish town in. Southwest Kansas and I when I was in high school I wanted to get out of there. So bad right? as most small-town kids do when they're in high school and so I found the foreign exchange student program through our school and I applied for that and I knew.
17:08.58
loriejones7
Pushing.
17:12.40
Mary Gaul
Was going to be tough to kind of find the money to go but I got accepted talk to my parents. We did a big fundraiser dance and my family all pitched in and we raised money for me to go and I I went I got to go to Costa Rica Costa Rica for this summer which was so nice. The summer I was 16 but I was the first one to kind of.
17:26.75
loriejones7
Ah, us.
17:31.63
Mary Gaul
Leave our home area right? and go to a foreign country first one to get a passport. Um, you know my parents had been on planes but we didn't really fly as a family because there's 10 of us right? So we didn't fly anywhere so I was the first one of the kids to kind of take an airplane especially out of the country. On my own like I remember my parents dropping me off a d we drove to Denver and and dropping me off at the airport and I was like I'm on my own until I get to Costa Rica like you know as a sixteen year old you've never really been to a big city or anywhere. Was going to meet a stay with a family I didn't know and they didn't speak very much english I spoke no spanish and it was really put me out of my comfort zone and that leap of faith that I can figure it out really helped.
18:18.61
loriejones7
Um.
18:26.38
Mary Gaul
Sustain me through everything else because it was like okay I can do this I can do things that are challenging right? and I can figure out a way to make them work and have fun doing it right? So I learned to surf and I learned Spanish and made great friends and you know it was a great experience but it was very scary.
18:29.52
loriejones7
Um.
18:41.76
loriejones7
Um, yeah, yeah I think.
18:44.53
Mary Gaul
For me because I didn't have anybody to model that for me and then you know starting a business is the same thing right? So I'm jumping in to this unknown hoping I can figure it out. So.
18:55.85
loriejones7
I love that I love that idea. Um, my daughter is 18 and this weekend she was going to ah crawfish boil and so we were talking about crawish and and you know how to eat up and how to separate them and she's.
19:09.51
Mary Gaul
Yeah, yeah.
19:12.60
loriejones7
This look on her face like oh my gosh. That's so gross and and she's like I don't know if I want to go and I'm like well well why you know and she's like I don't know I'm a little scared I'm a little uncomfortable and this is all new and different.
19:22.67
Mary Gaul
Um, yeah.
19:29.28
loriejones7
And I think that's what you're talking about there. She's like but I know that I should do it because I'm I'm not going to grow unless I walk into that place where you're a little scared.
19:30.40
Mary Gaul
It was.
19:39.60
Mary Gaul
Yes, yes, do something that scares you every day I think it's a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt right so it's so true if we get in our little bubbles and we just stay in our comfort zone. We don't grow. And so we really do have to challenge ourselves sometimes in big ways sometimes in small ways right? But yeah, those are it's those those constant let me try something new or let me put myself out there where I'm not sure if I'm going to succeed or fail right? then.
20:09.89
loriejones7
Um, yeah.
20:12.50
Mary Gaul
That's what makes life worth living I think right? So yeah.
20:13.50
loriejones7
Yeah, yeah, you find out you're you're cooler than you thought you were and you do amazing things or you find out you got some lessons to learn and you did better next time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, ah.
20:17.87
Mary Gaul
Right. Right? right? Yeah or what can I learn from that right? Yeah or you find out I don't ever want to eat Craw fish chicken in my life right? But now you know.
20:32.18
loriejones7
But yeah, so what is can you think of some really bad advice that someone gave you is There is there some something that you're like oh man that was bad advice and did you take it did you learn from it. Did you say now that's I'm not doing that.
20:50.86
Mary Gaul
Um I was trying to think of this when I when I read the questions I was like bad advice. Um that the one that popped up and it still pops up is.
21:08.61
Mary Gaul
Ah Had a ah boyfriend at the time ah asked to use my credit to cosign some tires for his car and and we were on an apartment lease together and you know my girlfriends are like oh yeah, yeah, that's Fine. You know you guys are so solid. It's gonna be fine and. They weren't necessarily giving me advice to do it but they weren't discouraging me and I didn't I asked my girlfriends instead of asking my parents who would have said no way are you signing a loan with the dude right? Um so I did and then we broke up and he I moved out of the apartment he stayed on the lease.
21:36.12
loriejones7
Ah, yeah.
21:45.86
Mary Gaul
Trash the apartment it was of course had my name on it didn't pay for the tires that went on my credit destroy you know destroy my credit as a 21 year old and so you know it wasn't necessarily bad advice but it was not smart advice or not paying attention to.
21:58.92
loriejones7
Um, yeah.
22:04.40
loriejones7
There you go.
22:04.14
Mary Gaul
You know, asking the wrong people for advice I'll put it that way So seeking advice from people I knew would agree with me and not the people that would talk me out of something So I think that's where if I've gotten advice in the past it's because I know what I should do. But I'm seeking advice.
22:12.10
loriejones7
Um.
22:20.78
Mary Gaul
Confirmation from people that are just going to agree with me and not give me the total truth that I need to hear um which is hard right? because we just want to make the decision that we want to make.
22:27.28
loriejones7
Um, yeah, yeah Mary I really love that concept I mean it's it's so applicable in so many different places in your life. You know that that if you want.
22:40.42
Mary Gaul
Um, have one.
22:42.26
loriejones7
A yes answer yeah you go to people that you know will give you a yes answer. But if you want hard truth you know like I'm sitting here thinking ask your financial adviser she would have told you not I know I know.
22:45.00
Mary Gaul
Um, yeah, right right? Yeah yeah, at 21 I didn't have one. But yeah.
22:59.70
loriejones7
But but that sort of I I like that that you brought that up that there's you know there's people if if you just want a yes answer it may not take you to that place where you can grow.
23:02.97
Mary Gaul
Right.
23:11.27
Mary Gaul
Yes, great way to say that. Yeah and we and you know in this day of social media and you know we all do kind of have our bubbles of our friends that think alike and. You know we're surrounded by people who think the same way and we hear the news that thinks the same way and we see the social media that thinks the same way we're being served up these things that make us feel comfortable and part of the tribe. But it's hard to find somebody with a differing opinion then right that can give you that honest feedback.
23:37.43
loriejones7
Okay.
23:44.00
Mary Gaul
Um, and so I think that's that's a really important important thing to think of as well as who are my people that might think a little bit differently than I do and what would their opinion be on this right and am I am I brave enough to go and ask them for their opinion.
23:57.40
loriejones7
Yeah, yeah, and step out of your your comfort zone to do that So where have you found those people those the not yes men where.
24:02.50
Mary Gaul
That. Yeah, it. It is harder and Harder. You know as we are in our groups and our groups of friends and our group you know our communities. But I do challenge myself to have those conversations. So I invite people I Love to entertain and so I have people over for dinner and we have really I have these set of conversation cards that I always put at each person's place setting so that we have some meaningful conversations right? and. And I'm always amazed at even people I think who are in my circle on certain topics. We have differing opinions right? and so trying to hear them I think I picked that up a lot at the law firm too because you have to prove everything right? So I.
24:56.20
loriejones7
He.
24:56.85
Mary Gaul
Learn to debate kind of how do you know? That's true, right? And why do you believe it that it's that way and so I've learned to have those kind of conversations where we can be diplomatic I'm not trying to convert you you don't try to convert me I'm just curious to know.
25:14.97
loriejones7
Leave.
25:16.21
Mary Gaul
Why you think that way or what formed that opinion or where did you get that piece of information. Um, and you know keeping an open mind. It's so much us versus them. You know like you either believe this way or this way and there's no in-between. But. I am a firm believer that we have more in common than we do. That's different. It's just we don't hear about the stuff we have in common and so it's up to us kind of as citizens of the world to have those conversations and find that common ground and you know explore.
25:44.90
loriejones7
We.
25:51.49
Mary Gaul
Other opinions and other cultures right? That was a part of going to Costa Rica was I wanted to explore something ah, totally new that I didn't know and that's why I love travels because you get to explore other people's lives right? and it's not just.
26:07.42
loriejones7
Um, and her.
26:09.20
Mary Gaul
All about us and our little bubbles. There's whole other worlds happening out there. You know we're recording this on on the eighth of April when we just had the solar eclipse and so you know again, that's ah, another one of these unifying things that's happening across the path of the you know the globe and. People are experiencing that same thing in a different way all across the world at different times right? So covid was a great example of that as well when things first shut down for covid everybody was going through that together everybody in the world right? was dealing with.
26:33.66
loriejones7
Okay.
26:44.70
Mary Gaul
The world is shut down for two weeks or three months or whatever you know, then it turned into long thing. But if if we can find those things at unify us and build upon those then it's okay to explore kind of the outer edges where we're different and then you can have those conversations from a different place rather than.
26:44.64
loriejones7
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:01.90
loriejones7
Yeah I think the world could use a little bit more of that too a little bit more of that trying to understand somebody else's point of view even though it's different than yours I like that you brought that up. So.
27:02.51
Mary Gaul
It's you versus me. So.
27:13.10
Mary Gaul
Um, yes, yeah.
27:16.72
loriejones7
If you looked back and you had a situation where you're like oh gosh if I had known then what I know now I would have handled that all a lot differently. What what comes to mind.
27:28.55
Mary Gaul
Yeah, oh goodness, there's some in my past and there's 7 that not so recent pasts just like last year is like man I really wish I would not have done that that way. Um because it blew up in my face right. Still learning I'm a human being right? We have things that we have to keep learning from and so um I don't really have you know it's it's hard to say you don't have any regrets there. Yes, there are things I wish would have happened differently but because. They have happened That's why I'm here today and I've learned a lesson from those things right? hopefully? Um, so I think although of those challenges are put in front of us for a reason and we just have to see what we can take away from them. Um, and not go back. Not dwell on.
28:06.24
loriejones7
Yeah.
28:16.23
loriejones7
A.
28:23.80
Mary Gaul
Why I how I could have done it differently right? because we tend to spin out of control sometimes that way like fixating on off I Just would have said this instead of this or not sent that email or sent the email or you know whatever it was.
28:24.75
loriejones7
Um, you have.
28:39.70
Mary Gaul
Then you can spend so much time ruminating on that you're not focused on the present or the lesson that you can learn and then how to fix it moving forward. So I've had to work on some of those things over and over again and I'll catch myself kind of going down the same path and it's like okay remember what happened last time. Let's don't.
28:48.00
loriejones7
That is.
28:59.27
Mary Gaul
Let's take um, a 24 hour period before you send that email off to the client right with your response so or let's sleep on it before you make that phone call and have that conversation with the sibling or something like that right? so um so ah I'm trying to learn those lessons. Don't always happen sometimes you just react right? and and things and then you have to deal with the consequences of that so I have learned to take responsibility for my part when I do those kind of.
29:18.28
loriejones7
Um.
29:32.34
Mary Gaul
Mix-ups or you know whatever they are those lessons that we have to learn and then really just say okay that happened I'm gonna feel bad about it for a while and then I have to move on right? What can I learn and then how can I move on. So yeah, but I.
29:34.10
loriejones7
Ah, yeah.
29:44.60
loriejones7
And.
29:49.72
Mary Gaul
Had a situation where I lost a client a really dear, really wonderful client because I gave some feedback that I probably should have slept 24 hours on before giving the feedback and I didn't and it cost me that relationship with that client right? And so. I mourned that for a long time because I was like I really really loved working with this person and and it just you know I just had to talk about ah I'm human I got triggered they got triggered. We both said things we shouldn't have said and it ended badly and that's you know.
30:12.00
loriejones7
And it.
30:25.88
Mary Gaul
What I can deal with so but those are the facts right? So moving on how can I avoid that in the future. But to think they totally eliminate. Those things is not realistic either right right.
30:27.80
loriejones7
Um, yeah, yeah I like that? Yeah no and I think I'm not sure you would want to because. Then you know then you don't have the learning experiences learning the hard way is a sucky way to learn. But it's also ah, it's one that sticks with you right? You do that in that situation and end up saying I'm never doing that again and you learn from it so that you can proactively next time you take that.
30:46.40
Mary Gaul
Um, yeah, um, right right.
30:59.93
loriejones7
You know 24 hours to think before you you know you say something or you don't go into the meeting angry and you know tired and and ah and stressed. So I I like that the idea that you can learn. Um.
31:05.88
Mary Gaul
Right? Yeah yeah.
31:16.20
loriejones7
And that and that maybe proactively next time you don't maybe make the same mistakes that you've made.
31:20.80
Mary Gaul
Yeah, yeah, which I think is the whole point of life right? just to keep keep learning and growing as people So right? Yes, yes yeah.
31:31.60
loriejones7
I mean maybe we make different mistakes different new mistakes every time right? What? Um, if you could go back and talk to your early self your 20 year old self. Um, what would you tell her.
31:38.50
Mary Gaul
Yeah.
31:48.68
Mary Gaul
I love this question because I have 2 daughters in their twenty s right in their mid 20 s and so I think about you know what? I tell them as ah as their mom. Um I would just say the biggest thing. If I could have done more of something in my twenty s would be to travel more um you know and I was young and living on my own and working and there's not a lot of extra money typically in your twenty s right? Especially if you're.
32:06.39
loriejones7
Um, you.
32:18.11
Mary Gaul
Paying for college or you're doing all that kind of stuff or you're just trying to build yourself up and build a career but I wish I had taken more time to travel. Um and my daughters are kind of in that same boat. You know they're like.
32:25.80
loriejones7
Yeah.
32:33.69
Mary Gaul
My daughter graduated college and then she got it. She started working for a job the same month that she graduated college and she bought a townhouse which is great but the same time she's like I wish I've taken some time off in between college and starting up my first real job to just go and travel right because now it's harder.
32:51.13
loriejones7
Um, yeah.
32:51.74
Mary Gaul
Because you're in a real job and you only have so much vacation time and you you know So you're building this career set but at the same time you want to go and explore There's a great book called the defining Decade and I can't remember what the name. The lady is um.
33:02.90
loriejones7
Is it.
33:10.53
Mary Gaul
I bought it for my girls a couple years ago for Christmas and it's really I read it as a fifty year old. It's really good because it it talks about what's happening in your brain and your body but your mindset in your twenty s and how people can kind of just blow that off as like my twenty s are my free for all decade right? and. Yes, you can go and have fun. You can have you can have a gap year and go travel. But what can you learn from that that then you can apply to your career right? So it's being a little bit more strategic about having fun in your twenty s so that when you get to your 30 s you don't regret your 20 s or example.
33:35.80
loriejones7
The hay.
33:47.17
Mary Gaul
It's a really good book. Really good book and I find a lot of my clients who might be in their middle season of their lives same kind of transitions are happening right? Like oh my forty s were kind of a throwaway cause I was a mom and busy doing this and working just to balance everything and now I've got my 50 s and my kids are maybe out of the house. And now it's about me and what do I get to do with the next decade of my life right? So really great book. So I would say read that book if you're a twenty year old I'll advise I'd give myself ah read that book and then just travel and go and experience things.
34:09.36
loriejones7
Um, yeah.
34:16.87
loriejones7
Um.
34:24.68
loriejones7
Um, yeah I like that idea the idea of just trying new things. Um, you're not you. You know you've got like what 2 pieces of furniture you can stick in storage for a little while. But.
34:25.26
Mary Gaul
Um, before you get to settle down right.
34:36.93
Mary Gaul
Um, yeah, the fight. Yeah yeah.
34:42.46
loriejones7
Ah, maybe take a minute to figure out who you are and what you want out of life younger I like that That's an that's a really interesting idea.
34:48.75
Mary Gaul
Yeah, yeah, and then build friendships maintain your friendships right? So people have I have friends that I've had since grade school and I've got friends that I've had since my first job. Um that I'm still are my dear friends today right? And so. But it takes somebody to take ownership of maintaining that friendship because it's easy, especially when you're switching jobs or you may move to a new city or something. It's a little easier today with technology to stay in touch with people but you really have to be intentional like I want to make sure i.
35:09.34
loriejones7
See.
35:24.41
Mary Gaul
Staying in touch with this person and maintaining our level of friendship even though they're in another city or whatever that is so that would be my other piece of advice is really pick your core group of friends and then maintain those friendships because they'll serve you throughout your whole life.
35:37.97
loriejones7
yeah yeah I like that I have friends that I've been friends with since high school and I'm not even to tell you how long ago that was but so what scared you the most when you started out on your journey and does it still scare you today or.
35:45.30
Mary Gaul
You Yeah, the.
35:56.98
loriejones7
Have you ah have you figured out a way to to get over that.
36:04.51
Mary Gaul
Um, when I first started my company the gifts of time. It was a lot of fear around can I do it do I have the skills I mean I knew I had the skills but did I have what it took to make it to build a business right.
36:11.39
loriejones7
You.
36:22.15
Mary Gaul
And then when I started the coaching company the same thing it's like do I am I really qualify to tell people what to do with their business right? That imposter syndrome still sticks in and I still have that today I was with a client this morning and he is doing really amazing things with his business and. Way more than I'm doing with my business right? He's like 10 levels above me. But and so I always kind of have that little doubt in my mind like why is he coaching with me what is he going? What can I offer this person but there's always amazing conversations that we have so.
36:51.86
loriejones7
Um, yeah, yeah.
36:56.85
Mary Gaul
There's always something I can add value. There's always some way I can show up and you know give some piece of feedback or whatever it is helping with clarity. So I still get that and I think that that's a healthy thing to kind of question. Do I have what it takes to be doing this and then not dwelling on it but just questioning.
37:06.16
loriejones7
Yeah.
37:16.13
Mary Gaul
And then showing up in your authentic self with all your skills that you've developed and saying yeah I do I am I Able to add value. Um, and if you get to a point where you're not then you can start to rethink your career path. So then you know because we might have those shifts in our career where like this Just. Doesn't fulfill me anymore or I'm not adding value to the conversations I'm having So Maybe it's time for me to look at something else, right? But I think it's healthy to question those you know do I really have what it takes to do this and then proving yourself over and over. Yeah I do.
37:50.92
loriejones7
So how do you get? How do you yell at that imposter Syndrome tell it to go away like and I know that you you know you once have to constantly question it but like you don't want to give it.
37:54.50
Mary Gaul
And that builds that confidence.
38:08.60
loriejones7
Base to live up front right in the forefront of your brain. So how do you? How do you convince yourself that you are enough. You are good at this.
38:13.26
Mary Gaul
Right? Yes, so a couple of ways. So I am big on the power celebration right? So I have a keynote speech called the power celebration. Um, and. Every time you have a winning conversation with a client or you get your excel spreads sheet to work or you get a raise at work or you get some kind of kudos on your review, you need to collect those so that you can celebrate those and celebrate the small things and the big things right. I have lots of little ways I celebrate at my desk so I keep this little applause thing I give myself a round of applause all the time I have this button over here. That's a thirty second dance party button so I'll just hit that do a thirty second dance party like yeah I got a new client. Yay um, so building those small celebrations in.
39:03.00
loriejones7
Um.
39:03.72
Mary Gaul
It helps to set your brain to say you know what you're doing. You're successful right? Which helps then eliminate that a posture imposter syndrome. So celebrating all those little wins throughout your day is 1 thing and then um, the second thing is creating.
39:08.94
loriejones7
Um, yeah.
39:22.76
Mary Gaul
But I call like ah, a brag book or a fun book or something like that. So if you have your own business and you get. Thank you notes from clients or or things like that put them all in 1 place I have mine in this bright orange box. That's it's on my bookshelf over here and so every once in a while just go open up the box and. Pull out 2 or 3 cards from clients that are remind me of how impactful I was for them and have an email folder with the same kind of things and you know I get Google reviews those kind of things. But if you work in a corporate world. What are some of those ways where people may not send you a note but.
39:49.60
loriejones7
Ah, here ahead.
40:01.67
Mary Gaul
They might send you a text or they might have had a conversation. Can you keep it in a journal your your win book right? There's an app you can use called win streak s s t r e a k and it asks you for 3 wins. Every.
40:11.27
loriejones7
We.
40:18.20
Mary Gaul
Night or every once a day right? you put in the winds for the day and then you build a streak of how many days can you put it a a win in there right? and I use that for many months just to try and keep myself motivated like what was a win what was something I can celebrate and just the fact that you have to stop and think about that and find something to celebrate.
40:22.89
loriejones7
A.
40:37.62
Mary Gaul
Really does help shift that mind like oh I did something I accomplished something today and that gives me confidence which that confidence then helps to stamp out the imposter syndrome right? So all of those little things help create that mindset that we need to keep going.
40:45.63
loriejones7
Um, yeah.
40:52.56
loriejones7
I like that I like that idea um I spoke with someone who was talking about a gratitude journal and it kind of seems a little bit. You know it at least it links up and is somewhat from the same place but I like the idea of like wins to help.
40:58.20
Mary Gaul
Um, yeah.
41:07.65
Mary Gaul
Um, yeah.
41:09.30
loriejones7
Build your confidence and show that you are enough I that's great Mary. Thank you for sharing that with us.
41:13.86
Mary Gaul
Yes, yeah, and we all need those reminders right? So sometimes it's it's being brave enough to ask somebody for some feedback. Um, or you know I think you can see these flowers over here these yellow flowers so they were.
41:26.60
loriejones7
Okay.
41:31.49
Mary Gaul
Put on my porch by a client of mine this last week and she's like you can plant these outside but I wanted you to have them right now. So I love those kind of things and she wrote a little note and I put you know about what impact I've made it for her and put that in my you know my orange box. So it's now my sunshine box or whatever you want to call it right? so. Um, those things are important especially because you are going to have those down days. You're going to have those days as an entrepreneur or as an employee where you're just like I am over it I just want to run away I want to be done and I don't want to do it anymore right? And so those are the days when you need to pull out that box spend five or ten minutes
42:04.96
loriejones7
Um, and.
42:10.11
Mary Gaul
Going through reading some positive affirmation positive things about yourself and then throw yourself a thirty second dance party and move on right? so.
42:20.23
loriejones7
I Love it. I Love it. So so throughout your journey have you ran into anything that or faced any unique challenges because you were a woman I know that there you know my sister talks a little bit about um you know. Nurse ah pumping for her baby in the in the middle of her ah bathroom or something like that because there wasn't any did you run into anything that you found that was challenging because of your gender.
42:41.37
Mary Gaul
Um, yeah.
42:49.62
Mary Gaul
um yes yes um I remember at the law firm and they had won a big case. And I was out the day that they got the final word and when we got when we won a big case. Typically we would you know because they take months and sometimes years right before we'd settle one of these and so um, they the course the case came back. We we won a big case and. Big for the firm and big for the attorneys and the client and everything and I was gone the day they got the word and they went to celebrate so like it was on a Friday so I come back on Monday and I'm like oh you know congratulations. That's so great. They're like yeah we took everybody to hooters and I was like what but. What you know so I have a meeting with the partners and I was like why would you do that? You know, no that's not appropriate they're like oh but they have great wings and pickles and bla and was like no no that's not appropriate right and so I was like almost was like I'm gonna pull my mom finger out and scold you guys who are 2030 years my seniors right? but I was like no, that's not appropriate. We can't go there for celebrations with the office and invite the you know if it was just all the guys I guess that's okay, but it was guys and.
44:03.55
loriejones7
Please.
44:14.14
Mary Gaul
Girls and you know everybody was like that's just not appropriate right? So just little things like that where I've had to kind of pull my mom hat and say really this? No this is not right? We're not going to do this again right? So and had to have the conversation with somebody about you know he had a daughter and I was like how would you feel if your daughter's boss.
44:22.40
loriejones7
Um, yeah.
44:34.40
Mary Gaul
Said we're gonna go to hooters for lunch. Would you think that would be appropriate for him to invite her her of Pooter's and he was like well no and I was like we'll see so you know so sometimes it just takes a little different perspective of of you know, reminding them that. That was probably not a smart decision to make but you know and there's yeah, go ahead.
44:51.22
loriejones7
Yeah, yeah, and I oh go ahead I was just going to say and I like that you like you didn't you didn't make a big deal of it like it's not like you you need to you didn't make it to do a huge thing but you're like hey yeah, no raise my hand This isn't okay and then.
45:00.87
Mary Gaul
Like.
45:06.53
Mary Gaul
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
45:10.21
loriejones7
They probably they some of them didn't even think about it.
45:14.75
Mary Gaul
Right? They didn't they were just like hey there's 1 right down the street. Let's go have some wings and celebrate right and get cocktails. So yeah, those kind of things and then you know just yeah, many times when um is.
45:20.86
loriejones7
Um.
45:31.75
Mary Gaul
Am I being treated differently because I'm a woman or am I being tucked down to you know that was the thing I found sometimes more condescending with male bosses is them having to Mansla things or you know that kind of stuff and so you're just like okay yes, yes I get it right? and and. And know when it's okay, to ah say something when you feel you need do need to say something and then when when it's okay to let things slide right? So you kind of have to use your internal compass for that and and that's another.
45:51.28
loriejones7
A.
46:04.63
Mary Gaul
Piece of advice I'd give to a 20 year old or I try to teach that to my kids too is really listening to your internal voices right? that gut feeling that instinct your intuition is telling you to do this or not do this or be wary of this situation right.
46:10.93
loriejones7
Who.
46:18.30
loriejones7
Okay.
46:21.62
Mary Gaul
That's so important to hone that skill and listen to it and not ignore it because it's there for a reason and so that can apply in these kind of situations too If you're in Obviously if somebody's doing something inappropriate. You definitely want to address that with whoever you can you know.
46:26.29
loriejones7
Um, if.
46:40.80
Mary Gaul
In your in your company. Um, and then you know there's all kinds of just the to so de assist statistics right? Where women still only make eighty four eighty four cents per dollar 87% a cents per dollar. So we're still not getting paid equally for the same amount of work and. You know those kind of things definitely need to bring to our bosses or to the hr department or whatever and say okay I know this person and and myself started the same time we're doing the same job or I'm doing more work than that person is but they're getting paid more than me so those kind of things I think you can call out. Um. And then the other things you kind of have to just like you know is that worth making a deal a big deal about it or can I do it in a humorous way that doesn't embarrass the person but still gets my point across right now.
47:27.64
loriejones7
Yeah I like that that there are sometimes ways you can be like hey where's you know? where's my Jersey where's my but yeah, so.
47:39.34
Mary Gaul
Um, right? Yeah yeah, exactly.
47:43.36
loriejones7
Um, if you look back Mary what is the thing that you are the most proud of.
47:51.42
Mary Gaul
Um I would have to say my kids right? Ah, ah that don't have to say my kids I would I will say my kids um because I just am so proud of them as human beings and and proud of myself as a mom who has been a working mom and um. Somebody who set a good example for them. You know I've written a couple of books. So I'm proud of being able to say I'm a publish Amazon bestselling published author you know that was a fun.
48:15.13
loriejones7
3
48:20.49
Mary Gaul
Experience to go through a couple of times now I'm in a couple of collaboration, chapter books and those kind of things I'm still published author but I'm not writing my own books at the moment. There's lots more of those to come in the future but those are big accomplishments but my kids and making sure that they're good human beings. In the world and they are caring and concerned and they can show up and they can figure things out too. It makes me really proud to do that and then proud that I've you know, been able to run 2 businesses as well. And.
48:47.50
loriejones7
Um I.
48:54.46
Mary Gaul
Gotten past that dreaded 5 year Mark right? half of businesses fail in the first five years so gotten both businesses past that five year Mark and so going and I still love what I do I'm still able to add value still able to contribute with people and make an impact in the people that are in my circle. So those are. All things that I'm very proud of let's go.
49:15.34
loriejones7
That's great. It's it's and interesting. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us and just some of the things that you learned along the way I you could tell I I was super interested and wanted to delve a little bit deeper. So if we have. Listeners that might um, not know where to find you ah where where would I tell him to look.
49:39.79
Mary Gaul
Yes, so on Linkedin is the only social that I really play on. So if they want to connect with me on Linkedin that would be great and then my website if you go to my website which is success magnified dot com um, there's a. Ah, link at the top of the page to book a 30 minute call with me and so you can hop on my calendar and we can have a chat about whatever's happening in your world and there's also an events page. So if I have a workshop or something else coming up that you can attend then you're welcome to come out and join us for any of those. I do workshops online and then if you're in the Colorado area during the summertime I lead on the water networking groups out at Chatfield and aurora reservoir so you can come out and paddle board or kayak with us. There's usually about 10 people in the group and we paddle around for. Little bit and then stop and float and chat about business or books or Tv or whatever we're talking about and then we paddle around some more so it's a really fun way to get out and meet new people and challenge yourself to experience something new, right? So I encourage people to come out. They can find that on my events page on the website as well. Starting in may those dates will be posted for the summer of 2024 this will be our eighth season going out in paddleboarding on Friday morning. So hopes people come and join us. Yeah.
50:56.37
loriejones7
Perfect that sounds sounds great. So um, last before we leave Mary Any advice for a young woman who's just starting down her path to help her be as successful as you are.
51:09.37
Mary Gaul
Yeah I would say raise your hand you can figure it out I think Marie Forleo even has a book called. It's figureoutable. That's the title of her book right? So um, we have the skills to learn what we need to do and.
51:26.74
Mary Gaul
Statistics say women don't raise their hand unless they have 90 to 100% of all the boxes checked men raise their hands if they've got 50 or sixty percent of the boxes checked because they know they can figure it out so I would encourage you raise your hand figure it out and that's how you'll.
51:38.27
loriejones7
Um, the.
51:44.21
Mary Gaul
Continue to grow because you'll be given new opportunities new challenges and you can figure it out.
51:47.50
loriejones7
Yeah I think there's a lot of women that I've interviewed and and that are on the podcast that you know if if you're wondering how to do something like they've figured it out. Maybe listen you know they could.
52:00.54
Mary Gaul
With room.
52:03.66
loriejones7
They can help. There's a whole group of women out there that are more than willing to um, help grow the next generation too. So thank you Mary for your time today I really appreciate it.
52:11.65
Mary Gaul
Yes, yes, thank you Laurie for having me on your show.