In this inspiring episode, host Lorie Jones sits down with Hannah Hembree Bell, founding attorney at Hembree Bell Law, to talk about how choosing the bigger life can transform your personal and professional journey. Hannah shares her winding path from communications major to successful attorney, the value of investing in education—even when it means taking on student loans—and why listening to your own inner voice is essential for growth.
With candid reflections on overcoming self-doubt, taking brave leaps, and redefining what “selfish” means for women, this episode is brimming with wisdom for young women forging their paths, especially those venturing into traditionally male-dominated fields. You’ll hear practical advice on living according to your values, the power of a growth mindset, and how to claim your worth without apology.
If you’re ready to be inspired, challenged, and equipped for your journey, this conversation with Hannah promises to deliver the insight you need to choose your own bigger life!
Show Highlights:
- Update on joining Tandem Financial with the Fearless brand. [00:34]
- The importance of values-based spending, plus a helpful book. [03:47]
- Why journalism is the best major for law students. [08:33]
- Are student loans an advisable investment that gets a bad rap? [09:50]
- Litmus-test the life you think you want before pursuing it. [14:43]
- Growth mindset and marrying for your thirties if in your twenties. [16:46]
- What it means to “choose the bigger life” when in doubt. [20:23]
- Avoiding self-betrayal and blooming in your season in life. [21:42]
- The power of reframing selfishness and self-care as women. [28:25]
- How to build confidence with the “win or learn” philosophy. [32:27]
- Womanhood as an asset with a full stop to victim mentality. [34:50]
- Success tips and humble corrections for the next generation. [40:51]
Connect
If you enjoyed this episode, please go to Apple Podcasts and leave a review!
For more information about Lorie Jones, go to https://fearlessfinancialadvisors.com/fearless-females.
00:01.46
Lorie Jones
Good morning, Fearless Females. Thank you so much for joining me today. Today we have Hannah Hombrey Bell. She’s the founding attorney.
00:08.73
Hannah Hembree Bell
oh Hannah Hembree Bell. Like him, like H-I-M, like him.
00:11.97
Lorie Jones
I knew I was going to get that wrong.
00:14.25
Hannah Hembree Bell
Hembree Bell.
00:15.13
Lorie Jones
and brief okay I’m so sorry.
00:16.71
Hannah Hembree Bell
Oh, that’s all right.
00:17.27
Lorie Jones
I am so bad at this.
00:17.82
Hannah Hembree Bell
Don’t worry about it.
00:18.71
Lorie Jones
Okay, I’ll try again and they’ll cut this part off.
00:20.42
Hannah Hembree Bell
Yeah, I was just stopping you so that way it’ll be easy. Just like cut and then back to it. No problem.
00:25.58
Lorie Jones
Perfect. Good morning, Fearless Females. Today we have Hannah Hembree-Bell. She’s the founding attorney at Hembree-Bell Law, and um I appreciate her coming on today. Thank you so much, Hannah, for doing this for us.
00:41.71
Hannah Hembree Bell
Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much for having me. I’m excited to be here.
00:45.95
Lorie Jones
I’m excited to get into your story and learn just a little bit more about you, but before we get started, I always ask the first question, which is, i love reading. What is your favorite book?
00:57.40
Hannah Hembree Bell
I was thinking about this recently. i mean, and it’s sort of like in what genre, but I mean, the book, I think I would go to like what’s been the most impactful book for me.
01:08.48
Hannah Hembree Bell
And really I have a tie for two. Can I say two?
01:11.87
Lorie Jones
You can say too, yeah.
01:12.41
Hannah Hembree Bell
Okay. And one is like very apropos of our convo. So the first one would be ah The Power of Now. um by Eckhart Tolle or Tolle, I think is how he says it. And that was the very first book I read about mindfulness that introduced me to that concept at all and presence. And actually something I was just thinking about as I was walking down the hall just a second ago.
01:33.69
Hannah Hembree Bell
So I would say that’s been the most impactful to my life and something that I returned to again and again. And then practically impactful, yeah I mean, I guess that one is practical too, but um Die With Zero. Have you read that book?
01:48.20
Lorie Jones
Uh-huh.
01:49.41
Hannah Hembree Bell
Oh, yeah. So this is in the financial area. um um forget the guy’s name. Diwa Zero. But it really revolutionized the way and my husband approached our finances.
02:00.77
Lorie Jones
hu
02:01.07
Hannah Hembree Bell
And the concept in the book is talking about um basically spend your money on things you’re going enjoy while you’re alive, like versus hoarding all this money and then passing it along to your kids who by the time they get it, hopefully are in their 60s or seventy s And then they don’t need it either because they’ve already made their own wealth. And so like using that money to give you pleasurable experiences in life now at sort of the optimal times of when it would be the most pleasurable to do it. So maybe rather than leaving your kids X number of dollars, you could help them with the house down payment or help them, you know, go on a family vacation or something like that. So that those are the two ah that come to mind.
02:41.01
Lorie Jones
I love that. i’m I’m definitely checking out that book because, you know, finance is my love language. So I’m super excited to hear that.
02:48.39
Hannah Hembree Bell
Yes, highly recommend.
02:50.17
Lorie Jones
And I like the idea of like values based spending. A lot of times I’ll talk to clients and I’ll ask them, well, what are your values? And they tell me, you know, family is usually one of their top values.
03:00.91
Lorie Jones
And then they’ll tell me that they’re spending hours and hours and hours and hours at work and none of the time with their family. And I’m like, hey, we’ve got to disconnect here. Let’s talk about this. So I love that it talks about like actually spending money on things that you find important and that you value.
03:10.84
Hannah Hembree Bell
Absolutely.
03:17.55
Hannah Hembree Bell
Yeah, absolutely.
03:19.39
Lorie Jones
So tell me a little bit about your journey, Hannah. How did you get where you’re at today? um Where did you start? What do you do? Just tell us a little bit about you.
03:29.46
Hannah Hembree Bell
Yeah, so I am the founding attorney of Hembree Bell Law, where we help people in their marriage as well in the greater Austin and San Antonio area. So like sort of I-35 in central Texas.
03:41.81
Hannah Hembree Bell
And man, I got there through a winding road. So I went back to law school as a second career. I was a recruiter for nurse practitioners and physician assistants before I went to law school and got my MBA along the way. And in there took a business law course, which kind of hooked me and ultimately led to me going to law school at St. Mary’s.
04:03.28
Hannah Hembree Bell
And when I very first got out of school, um I was in big law as an employment lawyer at a, you know, MLA 200 firm at the time. And then it was my own like custody divorce journey that got me into the place of um wanting to go back and help the people and be the sort of lawyer I wished I would have had from the beginning.
04:25.41
Hannah Hembree Bell
And so that’s what sort of brought me back here. and I just hung out my own shingle, they call it. So we, I went out on my own, um, Once I kind of made the decision to go back and try to help others um in this same area and did that, I guess this is coming up on the seventh full year that I’ve been doing it.
04:45.26
Lorie Jones
So when you went to school, you went through the first time, what did you, what were you going to school for then?
04:52.61
Hannah Hembree Bell
You mean MBA?
04:54.29
Lorie Jones
Yeah, so you you got um a business undergraduate and like an MBA and then you went back?
04:58.68
Hannah Hembree Bell
Oh, sorry. No. So my undergrad was in communications. I switched undergrad schools. I went to one school my freshman year, sophomore year, went, came kind of back to Texas and went to school and then went back to that same school.
05:14.15
Hannah Hembree Bell
So like all that switching, switching twice, like one place and going back, um that switching had a,
05:15.73
Lorie Jones
What?
05:21.95
Hannah Hembree Bell
a you know, a real, did a number on all my credits and everything. So by the by the time it all got settled, um I was able to be a communications major and still finish in four years. So that’s what I did.
05:33.88
Hannah Hembree Bell
And then I was doing recruiting and at first, like education wise, went back and knew I wanted to get my master’s. I got some, well, some really good advice from a guy who was talking about, you need to go ahead and get your master’s.
05:46.09
Hannah Hembree Bell
um When I did leadership, Tyler, when I was living in East Texas, one of those leadership academies, he was like, you need to work on that. So I took that advice and started with an MSHRD. So like I was thinking I was going to go into HR type stuff as I was in you doing recruiting.
06:01.98
Hannah Hembree Bell
um But in there, i was like, I don’t know how much I want to just do the HR part. And back then I was going in person to class. But then I had my first kiddo and stopped going.
06:13.77
Hannah Hembree Bell
I think I stopped going for a minute and moved and needed to go online. And so that was how I got into an MBA program. um And then that’s, you know, the business law and then ended up in law school.
06:26.15
Lorie Jones
Well, yeah, it’s it’s so interesting how you went from communications to to law. That’s like and that’s a that’s a big disc. That’s a different. Right.
06:36.88
Hannah Hembree Bell
Yeah, I guess. I mean, definitely all we really do in the law is communicate. I mean, if I could go back and if I was going to advise somebody who’s in undergrad in school um and they wanted to be a lawyer, I think the best under like the best education you can have, in my opinion, at least to be successful in law school is journalism.
06:55.91
Hannah Hembree Bell
So my law school bestie Megan was a journalism major. And she kicked booty at all of their written assignments. And in law school, the exams are these timed essays for the most part.
07:08.86
Hannah Hembree Bell
And journalism, people learn to get deadlines done and fast. And in in law, that’s what we have to do, get things out on a deadline and a lot of writing. So if I was going to go all the way back to the beginning, I would have been a journalism major if I was going to go to law school.
07:20.66
Lorie Jones
That’s, yeah, that’s so interesting. I’ve heard history major before, but I haven’t heard journalism.
07:26.53
Hannah Hembree Bell
I mean, i think so I think history would be fine.
07:26.36
Lorie Jones
That’s super smart.
07:29.15
Hannah Hembree Bell
It’s just that you can do it without being a history major. I mean, I think it’s helpful to some extent, but I think journalism is way, way more helpful.
07:37.82
Lorie Jones
That’s so interesting. So Hannah, tell me a little bit about, through your journey, is there an investment that you’ve made in yourself that’s really made the difference where you’re like, oh my gosh, I just wouldn’t be where I’m at today without just this investment?
07:51.30
Hannah Hembree Bell
Yeah, I mean, absolutely. It would be about just education. And I mean that in the biggest, broadest sense, both, you know, I just told you about my formal education, but then there’s also, you know, personal growth, mindset, development, education. And that’s an investment you make in yourself that no one can ever take away from you.
08:10.61
Hannah Hembree Bell
And so for me, like I had, i mean I’m still paying on student loans. At this point, it’s because the interest rate, it just, you know, is the, makes the most sense to leave it. um and pay it out.
08:21.74
Hannah Hembree Bell
But I have, I mean, like $200,000 worth of student loans by the time it was all said and done. And I wasn’t the most smart, like I was, I mean, I just did what I had to do to make it work. I was a mom and going back to school. And so I had like loans, plus loans and stuff like over and above the cost of tuition to help with living expenses. And anyway, that’s not the most, what people would not necessarily give you that financial advice.
08:43.36
Hannah Hembree Bell
However, for me, It’s paid off, you know, I mean, hundreds fold at this point, just from a dollars to dollars perspective. But um just in who you are in that education, it’s not something you can ever lose.
08:56.41
Hannah Hembree Bell
It’s not something that um anybody else can can take. So I think education and continuing that lifelong learner um attitude beyond, you know, informal education stops, but then continuing to pursue other learning and enrichment for yourself.
09:13.99
Lorie Jones
Yeah. Oh, I love that idea because i I love education and I love really kind of, and it’s something too that people don’t tell you because from a first from a fully financial point of view, taking out those student loans feels kind of scary.
09:21.16
Hannah Hembree Bell
Yeah.
09:30.25
Lorie Jones
but But like you, i like 10X, 20X my income with ah you know a master’s degree and the confidence that that gave me moving forward with that knowledge behind me So sometimes and those, you know, you have the it student loans suck basically, but it sometimes does really make a difference into what you’re able to to do in your career.
09:49.59
Hannah Hembree Bell
yeah
09:56.26
Hannah Hembree Bell
Yeah, I just don’t think of them as they suck. I mean, or what? You don’t go. mean, it’d be nice if somebody would just pay for your college for you, but that wasn’t a choice for me.
10:00.74
Lorie Jones
Yeah, that’s true.
10:04.39
Hannah Hembree Bell
So I don’t, I just don’t look at them at all like they suck. I’m so grateful for student loans or i wouldn’t be here today.
10:09.00
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
10:10.36
Hannah Hembree Bell
i wouldn’t been able to get all this education and then make the money I’ve been able to make and help the people I’ve been able to help. And I think that people just like, they buy into this idea that student loans suck or that it’s terrible.
10:20.56
Hannah Hembree Bell
Like, are you kidding me? We live, like other countries don’t have that.
10:23.93
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
10:24.47
Hannah Hembree Bell
in the same way that we do, that you can come from absolutely nothing and get an education match the same, that’s the same dollars.
10:24.38
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
10:31.55
Hannah Hembree Bell
And then we all know that like loans are leverage.
10:31.71
Lorie Jones
Right.
10:35.48
Hannah Hembree Bell
um We leverage other people’s money through loans.
10:37.09
Lorie Jones
Other people’s money.
10:37.52
Hannah Hembree Bell
And so, I mean, and I know when you’re, you’re taking, depends on what kind of student are you going to be?
10:38.04
Lorie Jones
Yeah. Yeah.
10:42.88
Hannah Hembree Bell
Like, i don’t know that if you’re going to be, you know, a job that pays, you know, you have to do the math on is, you know, $200,000 like I had to do of student loans or chose to do.
10:42.91
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
10:54.83
Hannah Hembree Bell
worth it if your job, but let’s say you’re going have a job that pays $40,000 a year. Well, that math may not make the most sense.
10:58.62
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
11:00.48
Hannah Hembree Bell
So it’s having some reason, but I think student loans are an incredible gift that we have so that everybody has.
11:04.71
Lorie Jones
yeah you’re Yeah.
11:06.48
Hannah Hembree Bell
Now, you know, things are different with a lot of the, i have a college, a rising college freshman. So this is very fresh on my mind, but like now a lot of the colleges, depending on where your parents’ income falls, then a lot of them do a hundred percent need-based aid.
11:21.76
Hannah Hembree Bell
Like back then I would have qualified for that. um But, you know, Tom.
11:25.99
Lorie Jones
Yeah, exactly. Well, and i was i was saying student loans suck when you have to pay them back.
11:32.47
Hannah Hembree Bell
Yeah. I guess.
11:33.75
Lorie Jones
m I’m with you on the, it really does open up a lot of opportunities. And I love the idea of getting that education and investing in yourself in that way. So it opens up a lot of ah lot of doors for you.
11:47.36
Lorie Jones
I love that. It’s good advice. What’s what speaking of advice? What is the worst advice you’ve ever gotten? And did you take it? Did you not take it? Did you learn from it?
12:00.02
Hannah Hembree Bell
I’m trying think about that. The worst advice I’ve ever gotten. I mean, don’t know that I’ve gotten like, I mean, I think when people give advice, it’s just so colored by their own experience and their own goals. And, um,
12:15.63
Hannah Hembree Bell
things like that. So like, I guess it could be some idea of like, stay in your lane, um, kind of stuff. But at the same time, it wasn’t wrong at the time. Like I needed to stay in my lane for a minute because I was a, an associate or an employee and it wasn’t, I wasn’t able yet to, you know, have my own firm. I don’t have to stay in any lane. I get to invent the lane. So I don’t know. don’t know that there’s any big worst pieces of advice I’ve gotten.
12:43.16
Hannah Hembree Bell
don’t think, I don’t think so.
12:42.99
Lorie Jones
hmm. Well, that is great. love that. I think that um I that would be a hard question for me to answer to tell you the truth.
12:52.15
Hannah Hembree Bell
yeah
12:52.90
Lorie Jones
I go through and think sometimes about how I would answer these questions. And the worst advice is sometimes the hard one. Has anyone ever given you any really great advice?
13:01.67
Hannah Hembree Bell
Yeah. So on that one, you know, it’s, it’s hard. I’ve gotten a lot of great advice over the years, but one of the most influential pieces came sort of from a a friend of mine and my husband’s Drew named Ricardo.
13:14.30
Hannah Hembree Bell
And that’s when I was working in the big law firm. and And it’s funny because it’s him giving this advice is just funny to me now knowing him. But, you know, he said, look, look at the people who already have the thing you’re working towards and ask yourself whether or not you want their life.
13:29.66
Hannah Hembree Bell
Like, would you trade places? And if not, then but essentially you’ve seen this before, like maybe you’re climbing the wrong ladder. Like don’t climb, like work so hard to climb a ladder and realize you’re on the wrong ladder. And so I did that back then as a partner at a big law firm and my boss so good at her job.
13:39.34
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
13:44.48
Hannah Hembree Bell
And she would be like, 7 a.m., 5 a.m. worrying about depo prep. And I’m like, I don’t I don’t want to be doing that. You know, no, thanks. um And so that advice served me well. And so that’s what I try to think through. OK, if somebody already has that thing I want.
14:00.13
Hannah Hembree Bell
Um, would do, it’s sort of like people like think maybe they’d love to be famous. Like, have you ever really thought about that though? Would you like ah people who are famous, put yourself in their shoes.
14:07.98
Lorie Jones
yeah
14:10.49
Hannah Hembree Bell
Would you actually want that life? Probably not. People hounding you, you never have any privacy. Once you have a certain amount of money, it doesn’t matter that much anymore. And then, um, people judging you all the time, you know, do you really?
14:22.34
Hannah Hembree Bell
So it’s that same idea. Like just think it through, put yourself in their shoes of the person who already has the thing. And I use that advice all the time.
14:27.99
Lorie Jones
oh Yeah, I think that’s really interesting and very valuable to you, because I had someone phrase that like, um don’t take advice from people whose life you don’t want to live.
14:39.45
Hannah Hembree Bell
Same idea.
14:39.34
Lorie Jones
But it’s the same concept. Yeah, yeah.
14:44.52
Lorie Jones
What about um a situation that maybe if you knew then what you know now, you would have handled it completely differently or done something different? Is there something like that that you can think of along your journey?
14:57.82
Hannah Hembree Bell
Oh, there’s a lot of things like that. um where you know I wouldn’t change them because I like how everything turned out. But for me, I mean, there’s definitely been a couple of things like that.
15:04.99
Lorie Jones
Thank
15:10.28
Hannah Hembree Bell
Like there’s two things that come to mind right away. One of them is sort of simpler. When I went off to college, um when I graduated high school, they were doing that like top 10% program and you got to go to UT um in Austin for free.
15:24.71
Hannah Hembree Bell
And I didn’t and chose to go off to a small private school. um If I could do it all over again, ah would have gone to UT Austin for free. But here’s the thing, I was afraid.
15:37.42
Hannah Hembree Bell
I was from a little bitty town and grew up very churchy, very church campy. And um I didn’t, and my parents didn’t have much money. And so I thought, okay, but if I go to a big school, everybody’s going to parties all the time. And I’m not like a drink beer party person. So like, what would I do? And then you have to be, I was thinking it like a movie.
15:58.09
Hannah Hembree Bell
You have to be in a s sorority and i ah I don’t have money for that. So like, how would I do that? And so I literally didn’t go because I was afraid.
16:05.81
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
16:06.09
Hannah Hembree Bell
And if, if knowing all the things and I try to instill this in my kids now is I would put myself in very, have a growth mindset. I didn’t, I naturally have a fixed, I had a fixed mindset for a long time. And I still find myself doing that sometimes putting myself in situations where I’ll know I’ll succeed versus putting myself in more challenging situations where I know that I’ll be stretched um and need to grow.
16:30.46
Hannah Hembree Bell
and step up to that. So if I was doing it all over again, i would continue to put myself in situations where I need to stretch and grow and just strive versus sort of find situations to confirm what, you know, that I’m good at things and look for worth in that way.
16:46.97
Hannah Hembree Bell
And that kind of goes into some extent in the next, the second thing would be to really, this is something I think women, a lot of us struggle with in general, um, owning and connecting with our own worth.
17:00.87
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
17:01.19
Hannah Hembree Bell
early on, because I think this is where a lot of women in their twenties get married to someone that they would not marry in their thirties or forties. And I think part of that is some impatience and fear. Like if I don’t get married now, then, you know, I’m not gonna, I’m go to be alone. dadda and up upbringing for part of it, you know, what they thought. Like I thought, I mean, not really upbringing, just my experience was you go to college and you come back and you get married, like the end.
17:28.96
Hannah Hembree Bell
And that’s what I did. I got married when I 21 years old.
17:30.92
Lorie Jones
you
17:33.78
Hannah Hembree Bell
But If I could do it all over again, and I don’t even know how to tell myself to do that, but it would be this, this idea of connecting to your own worth. And like when you have things that feel wrong to you, like believe yourself, listen to you.
17:48.54
Hannah Hembree Bell
When something feels like a transgression against you, it is. And I would get in touch sooner with that inner voice um that’s you know standing up for my worth and who I was and what I deserved.
18:00.49
Hannah Hembree Bell
I would have listened to her a lot sooner. And then I wouldn’t have found myself in lots and lots of situations that ended up
18:05.90
Lorie Jones
Yeah. Yeah, it is. It’s easy, easy to question yourself and wonder if, do I really deserve that? Or am I really worth that? And, and finding that inner strength to say, i am worth that. And um I’m going to stand up and say, I am that’s, that’s hard.
18:22.28
Hannah Hembree Bell
Yeah.
18:23.76
Lorie Jones
And I love your idea to have kind of um just, you know, what you mentioned about just looking inside of yourself and really understanding, like,
18:36.33
Lorie Jones
i can i can I can take this chance. I can try this thing. How do you know when you should try? like Because that’s always scary to me. like You’re standing on the precipice and you’re like, well, should I should i try or should I not should they stay where it’s safe? like how How do you get past that, taking that first step?
19:00.05
Hannah Hembree Bell
I mean, if you just, ah do I’ll give everybody who’s listening a mantra, choose the bigger life. So when presented with two choices, I mean, there’s like foolhardy, stupid, like, you know, jumping off the side of a cliff without a parachute. I mean, obviously.
19:14.18
Hannah Hembree Bell
So there’s a degree of reasonableness. But um when presented with two options that seem pretty good, and one of them stretches you to become bigger or more or take a chance or have some new experience or go to some new place or meet new people, et cetera,
19:28.47
Hannah Hembree Bell
to grow Always choose that one over staying safe and staying in the same situation. Variety and contrast. Everything good in my life has come on the other side of like not knowing and taking that step. So I think one shortcut way to do it is when in doubt, choose the bigger life.
19:45.24
Lorie Jones
I like that. I’m going to put that on the, yeah I pull out quotes and I love that quote. I’m going to put that quote up on my vision board. I love that. Choose the bigger life.
19:53.77
Hannah Hembree Bell
yeah she Yeah, I’m sure I didn’t invent it.
19:54.93
Lorie Jones
that
19:56.58
Hannah Hembree Bell
you know, you find these things all along the way from who knows where. And yeah, when in doubt, choose the bigger life. I’m glad to remember. I haven’t thought about that in a minute. um And so I’m glad for the reminder to just when in doubt, choose the bigger life.
20:10.66
Lorie Jones
So if you could go back and talk to yourself when you were very young, about 21? twenty one um What would you tell her?
20:19.25
Hannah Hembree Bell
Hmm.
20:32.82
Hannah Hembree Bell
To never betray yourself for anyone else ever in any situation.
20:43.76
Lorie Jones
Betray yourself how not be true to what your worth Mm-hmm.
20:43.97
Hannah Hembree Bell
Ever.
20:48.01
Hannah Hembree Bell
Yeah, what I mean is that part I talked about earlier is like that still small voice inside to not heed, to not listen. your body is talking to you.
20:58.26
Hannah Hembree Bell
Your heart is speaking to you. I am very, very attuned to this and any decision I’ve ever made that blew up in my face, there was a, I call it a honey clinch moment, um feeling, oh, or like a red flag of this unease.
21:13.22
Hannah Hembree Bell
And I would go back and say like, anytime you walk through that and you do the thing anyway, you’re betraying yourself.
21:20.63
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
21:22.36
Hannah Hembree Bell
And nothing’s worth it. No one’s worth it on this planet. I mean, literally no one. And so, you know, what, what that sort of begs the question or assumes is, you know, how to hear that person and you get to know that person. I just didn’t, I went from my parents’ house to college. Remember i went back and forth, went back there and then got married, you know, was home for two seconds, got married in July. So graduations in May, my wedding was in July.
21:47.43
Hannah Hembree Bell
um And then had babies started having Lucy. year and a half in, two years in.
21:53.72
Lorie Jones
Thank you.
21:53.96
Hannah Hembree Bell
And they had kids after that. I didn’t have any time. Actually, I was talking with this, about this with my former au pair, Joao. He’s 25. He lives with us. And then my oldest, Lucy, because I’ve got four kids and Lucy is um going off to college.
22:08.90
Hannah Hembree Bell
And the last few weeks we were working remotely, me and Drew and the baby anyway. And Lucy had been at home on her own. So she’s 18 now and she’d been here for three weeks. And she said the first few nights, it was kind of scary, but then she settled in And really when we got home this past weekend, um she was, I could tell on her face. And then when I named it, she kind of started to cry of like, she was kind of bummed we were back.
22:34.13
Hannah Hembree Bell
Like we were invading her space and that privacy that she’d had and just enjoyed being on our own and drew my husband, um, his Lucy stepdad and I, we were talking about how like, um, you know, you got a taste of what it’s like as an adult on your own and how much you liked it and let that inform you of like what you’re working towards and what you’re looking forward to. And I told her, look, you had more time alone on your own.
22:58.81
Hannah Hembree Bell
These three weeks than I had until after i’d already had you three, the big kids, And got divorced and then was on my own because my kids didn’t live with me primarily at first. And there was this period where I was on my own.
23:12.61
Hannah Hembree Bell
and It’s a lot rougher to do it in that moment. It doesn’t feel like freedom. And so like getting used to that space and having that time. And, you know, I think women, it’s not too late, right? It’s never too late for late where there’s life, there’s hope.
23:25.79
Hannah Hembree Bell
And so we can do that in our own way, wherever we are. i was thinking about that phrase, bloom where we’re planted.
23:31.71
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
23:32.05
Hannah Hembree Bell
And I think sometimes people use that to like shame you, make you feel guilty and staying in a crappy situation. I don’t mean that. But what I do mean is like, we can become, we can bloom in the season in life that we’re in.
23:45.01
Hannah Hembree Bell
And so maybe that looks like, you know taking one little nugget of this advice and that’s not ignoring that still small voice that says, you know what? i need to sleep in on Saturn.
23:56.27
Hannah Hembree Bell
I’m tired. And I’m going to need to ask the people in my life to support me doing that. And because I’m worth it. It’s okay for my body to cry out that I need somebody else to handle things until 9 a.m. on Saturday morning.
24:09.08
Hannah Hembree Bell
And hearing that and heeding that and saying it’s worth it. If somebody else in my life asked that of me and said, I really need this, I would give it to them. And so we, we can ask the same. And even if you, you don’t maybe have a support system in your own home, like babysitter, mom, friend, cousin, and you say that, right? So it’s like about listening and heeding that voice. That’s all we’re left with. You know, everybody else can come and go.
24:34.89
Hannah Hembree Bell
I learned that lesson because I was divorced. My kids didn’t live with me at different times. Um, I’ve had strange relationships with, you know, a couple of my kids at different points.
24:46.19
Hannah Hembree Bell
Um, So I learned truly the hard way how on your own you actually are, which is both the scariest thing and the most amazing thing because I’m enough for me.
24:56.60
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
25:00.14
Hannah Hembree Bell
um And maybe I’m not. maybe ah Maybe people listening don’t feel this way yet. And I’m not saying I do every day, but I think it’s a thing. Once once you’re enough for you, ain’t nothing can touch you in life.
25:12.37
Hannah Hembree Bell
Enough for you.
25:12.42
Lorie Jones
I like that. Yeah.
25:14.08
Hannah Hembree Bell
And so if you can get to that place and whether you’re a kiddo just starting out or you’re a mom or you’re grandma, you know, I think, or just a, you know, a single person, um you you have that option where you are now to make a commitment. And I, you know, I would say like, you don’t got to make a forever commitment. You may not be ready to say, I’m never going to betray myself again.
25:37.12
Hannah Hembree Bell
But maybe you could say, I’m really going to try not to betray myself when I’m aware I’m about to do it. I’m going to try and i’m going to see if I can string together a few opportunities where I didn’t do that.
25:48.42
Hannah Hembree Bell
And what that means, what you do when you do that is you value yourself. And that goes into our worth. I’m worth it to say I need to sleep until 9 a.m. because I’m tired.
26:00.32
Hannah Hembree Bell
Or um need to go back to school because I’m unfulfilled. Or and need to leave this marriage because tired. you know, not satisfied.
26:13.48
Hannah Hembree Bell
It doesn’t serve me anymore. And that’s why um we’ve started through My Confident Divorce. So have the law firm, but I also um have a ah group of women in the My Confident Life women’s circle. And we can probably put a link like in the show notes for this where people can join with other women having conversations just like this.
26:33.29
Hannah Hembree Bell
um But I think we don’t talk about it enough just to say like, hey, I see you.
26:33.16
Lorie Jones
yeah
26:37.24
Hannah Hembree Bell
matters. It matters. what you need. Oh, later. Oh, it doesn’t matter. I can do without, you know sacrifice is not a virtue. They want us to think it is, especially, you know, the men out there, they want us to think it is because they’re usually directly who benefits.
26:51.86
Hannah Hembree Bell
Our kids want us to think it is um because they’re the ones who benefits and bless our hearts, you know, it’s just their kids. um But if, you know, for anybody who this sort of stuff resonates with, we’re offering the first two months for free for anybody to be in the circle and to join.
27:07.64
Hannah Hembree Bell
um So I’d love to have them and maybe we could share that information the show stuff.
27:12.93
Lorie Jones
Yeah, that’s great. I’ll put that in there. Cause I really do think that as women, a lot of times we, we question our own right, um, to, to take care of ourselves, to feel we question our own, um, ability to say, Hey, I’m, we think it’s selfish maybe sometimes rather than healthy, right?
27:37.24
Lorie Jones
Like we’ve
27:37.47
Hannah Hembree Bell
Well, and i just think I just think selfish is another one of those things like paying student loans is terrible. No, it’s not. I mean, it’s what like paying taxes is the worst.
27:43.81
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
27:45.73
Hannah Hembree Bell
No, it’s not. Like, don’t you want the ambulance to come when you call?
27:49.53
Lorie Jones
yeah
27:50.02
Hannah Hembree Bell
Well, yeah, I do. You know, I mean, so to me, being selfish, I mean, yeah, you’re just you. You’re only responsible ultimately for you in this life.
28:01.67
Hannah Hembree Bell
You only get one shot. You don’t get a do over. And selfish just means like concerned of self. Who else are you supposed to be concerned about Everybody else.
28:07.58
Lorie Jones
who
28:09.73
Hannah Hembree Bell
And then what? This is your life. They have their own life. Let them be worried. And that doesn’t mean, and I think it’s sort of like people just want to be so baby out with the bathwater or like, you know, binary A, B, black, white.
28:19.22
Lorie Jones
Yeah, one or the other.
28:20.12
Hannah Hembree Bell
and So that if I receive anything good or prioritize my own wellbeing, like sleep, I think as moms in particular is one that’s hard.
28:30.70
Hannah Hembree Bell
um That somehow that makes me like, it’s a ah moral, an immoral thing that I’m doing. Um, and I mean, it’s selfish. Like if that word is a weapon, I mean, why would I not be concerned about my own desires and needs?
28:41.93
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
28:46.44
Hannah Hembree Bell
Who, if not me, then who’s going to do that for me? And then what? So then if you just think it through logically, so you, you worry about everybody else’s everything, but then they’re, but then if they’re worried about everybody else’s everybody else, i mean, who’s ever watching out for themselves and those people get to take advantage and have whatever, you know what I’m saying?
29:02.98
Hannah Hembree Bell
So
29:03.31
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
29:04.13
Hannah Hembree Bell
I don’t know.
29:04.14
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
29:04.34
Hannah Hembree Bell
I just don’t think of it as selfish, I guess.
29:07.72
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
29:07.97
Hannah Hembree Bell
Or even if so, don’t think that’s um a bad thing.
29:07.92
Lorie Jones
I love that.
29:11.68
Lorie Jones
Yeah. Yeah. ah Taking care of, I love that how you talked about taking care of yourself or self-care. um It’s not selfish, it’s self-care.
29:17.78
Hannah Hembree Bell
Yeah.
29:19.66
Lorie Jones
And I think that’s so important for women in general, because we do spend a lot of our lives just giving and, and it, And then we get worn out and burnt out.
29:32.88
Lorie Jones
And that’s not a good place for anyone to be. It’s not good for our kids. It’s not good for our relationships. It’s not good for us.
29:39.81
Hannah Hembree Bell
Yeah. Yeah.
29:41.45
Lorie Jones
What about, Hannah, this is a question. What scared you the most when you started your career? And you seem a little bit fearless. I’m not sure anything scared you.
29:51.57
Hannah Hembree Bell
Oh, you know, I am, I always say this, like, it’s not fair in some ways in that I was born a little bit. I feel like I was born with an extra dose of courage as a person, ballsy kind of impulsive quick starter person.
30:06.38
Hannah Hembree Bell
And it’s also true, I’ve been afraid a lot of times about things. um But I think like, starting my career, it depends on what part you mean. I think of like, that probably the best place to ask that question is when I started the law firm.
30:20.85
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
30:21.24
Hannah Hembree Bell
um You know, I left the big law thing and then did this. And again, I asked myself that question I was telling you about, you know, check in of the person who has the life that I’m working toward that I don’t want that. I’m like, I don’t want that.
30:33.95
Hannah Hembree Bell
And so for me, I’d had this sense, like I’m a very purpose driven person. I wouldn’t be able to do work that my heart wasn’t in. Like my confident divorce, my whole heart is in that. Helping women prepare to get divorced without losing their kids, money or sanity. Okay.
30:47.68
Hannah Hembree Bell
So like I am made that way. So for me, okay, I need to do something that’s purpose driven. I really liked the people I worked with and everything, but it was just not going to work out.
30:59.08
Hannah Hembree Bell
So was like, well, it may work and it may not. At the time, my now husband was in my boyfriend. um Maybe he was my fiance then. Yeah, I saw my fiance at that point.
31:10.09
Hannah Hembree Bell
He gave me a little loan um to get started. So I had that and I figured, okay, if this doesn’t work out, I’ll go back and get a job because I left on good terms and everything i with them. I’ll go back and get one of these kind of jobs.
31:24.61
Hannah Hembree Bell
So I guess like i I’ll, you know, any decision going to make, like what’s the worst that’ll happen if you can accept the worst case, you know, relatively worst case scenario. Obviously there’s like things, you know, can you can mentally get your brain into like homelessness or death, you know, but let’s say what’s the most normal set of outcomes.
31:36.08
Lorie Jones
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
31:40.32
Lorie Jones
yeah
31:43.00
Hannah Hembree Bell
And if you can kind of live with that, like it’s a failure. And then I’ve really adopted, I tried to, at least um live out, win or learn. So either it’ll go really great or I’ll learn and then i won’t burn bridges and I’ll come back or I’ll figure it out at the time.
32:00.95
Hannah Hembree Bell
So um that’s, I guess, you know, i think it was a ah little bit scary kind of, but I don’t know. I don’t remember feeling really scared about that. I mean, I think more so it’s a subtle thing for me than this like paralyzing fear thing.
32:15.64
Hannah Hembree Bell
Um, you know, even just branching out and like with the, my confident divorce stuff, cause I’ve got a successful firm and like that should, you know, i can wrong make myself. That should be enough. I’ve already done it.
32:27.16
Hannah Hembree Bell
Just let, you know, I could, you know, chill and a bit.
32:30.24
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
32:30.90
Hannah Hembree Bell
I’m not really made of chill in that way. hundred And so, ah you know, putting myself out there personally in a different way than is the firm through the My Confident Divorce and trying to show up online in a real way, um i think is a little bit more like that.
32:48.80
Hannah Hembree Bell
And i’m I’m a work in progress learning. Like when it really, that’s when it cost me something. Like start the firm didn’t cost me in the way it would cost other people in terms of fear. um Showing up like truly vulnerable time and time again, you know, putting yourself out there on the computer for me is a place where it feels like this, like oh, I don’t know. Why would anybody care? Why would they like like it feels like that, like second guessy?
33:15.36
Hannah Hembree Bell
more than afraid, I guess. So it’s where the way I’m trying is just keep doing it. And then, you know, confidence is um one of those things that you get in the rear view mirror, like you don’t get a confidence deposit.
33:31.74
Hannah Hembree Bell
And this is one of those things you get after doing the thing.
33:31.75
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
33:35.92
Hannah Hembree Bell
And then you can look back and be like, Oh, I am brave. I am strong because I did hard things. But if you’re never doing, you know, going outside of your comfort zone, if you’re never trying do, how would you ever have confidence?
33:44.12
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
33:46.19
Hannah Hembree Bell
Because you just don’t get it ahead of time. You just don’t.
33:49.47
Lorie Jones
Mm hmm. That’s a really valid point. And I loved your idea of win or learn, because either way, you’re you’re not failing.
33:54.78
Hannah Hembree Bell
Mm-hmm.
33:57.65
Lorie Jones
You’re either winning or you’re learning something so you can do it better the next time. And I, I, I love that. I’m going to adopt it, actually.
34:05.49
Hannah Hembree Bell
Yay. Okay. Amazing. ah Good.
34:09.08
Lorie Jones
So tell me, did you face any unique challenges because you were a woman?
34:14.19
Hannah Hembree Bell
No, that’s it. Full stop. No. I mean, I just think I say that, um, if people ask that question all the time, ladies, I ain’t even here.
34:24.07
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
34:25.47
Hannah Hembree Bell
Why are we talking about them?
34:26.79
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
34:27.02
Hannah Hembree Bell
That’s what I always say. Like, because I’m a woman, I mean, I’m a person, so it just depends. Like, I just am not going to let other people ever do that to me. It just doesn’t come up. um In fact, being a woman, I think is a huge asset.
34:37.23
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
34:40.59
Hannah Hembree Bell
I think it’s such an asset. We’re naturally made to multitask and to care and nurture and with good energy and like all of that. and I don’t know. And like, it is a great time to be a woman as far as I’m concerned. I mean, I know there’s some wild political stuff going on.
34:54.57
Hannah Hembree Bell
I don’t get too caught up in all of that. um And, you know, i got to balance kids, but so does my husband. And yeah, like our division of labor and the energy of running a home and a family is our own unique way of doing it.
35:07.28
Hannah Hembree Bell
um But there’s trade-offs, like there’s things he handles and there’s things I handle. Drew cooks all the food at our house um that we eat, basically. I don’t. So does he…
35:18.08
Hannah Hembree Bell
you know, face more challenges because he’s a man now. I mean, so I don’t know with that question. i think it, again it kind of, ah it’s like it, that when people ask that, like, I mean, this is not 1960, you know, I, so no. And even in the law, even when I was in a big law firm, I mean, I guess it might’ve come up if I would have had those kids in the middle of it. And maybe like I got lapped, but the firms are always trying not to do that. So I don’t know, not really.
35:47.82
Hannah Hembree Bell
i think it’s only ever served me.
35:48.15
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
35:49.95
Hannah Hembree Bell
And I think us women um own that. Like, don’t let anybody, nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. And so like, you need to be in a woman. I mean. I guess the only thing would be like, you have to literally have the baby and have that time off. But I think that just like the workplace in the world has mostly accommodated that.
36:08.41
Hannah Hembree Bell
And you know, it’s a, it can be a prison of your own making. If you want to look for it, if I want to go back and like re-examine some stuff through that lens, maybe, but I’m not looking for it. I’m not gonna let them do that.
36:18.10
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
36:18.68
Hannah Hembree Bell
Hmm.
36:21.02
Lorie Jones
Hannah, what is the thing you are most proud of?
36:33.69
Hannah Hembree Bell
most proud of? That’s a big question.
36:40.50
Hannah Hembree Bell
I’m most proud of myself. And I mean, ah that’s not exactly what you’re asking, but like, I’m really proud of me for coming through it all and making the best out of it, making lemons out of it, flipping everything on its head and never getting, sitting around being sorry for myself for very long Never, you know, oh, blaming things. That’s what the the mind victim mindset of like, oh, it’s harder for me because I’m a woman. Ain’t nothing. that’s That’s your choice.
37:13.88
Hannah Hembree Bell
um And not ever even remotely adopting that sort of thinking, um a victim mindset. And instead, you know, I’m really proud of myself for trying really hard.
37:28.80
Hannah Hembree Bell
you know, showing up the best I can all the time, knowing I’m not perfect, trying hard to do right by people. um And the way that’s played out, you know, I’m really proud of,
37:41.50
Hannah Hembree Bell
the relationship I have with um my kids, one of them is still very strained. I have hope that it will not always be so, but I know that I’ve done the best I could at every intersection.
37:50.45
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
37:55.12
Hannah Hembree Bell
You know, I’m not, I’m not perfect, but I certainly have made the best choice I can um at the time, given all of the information, I guess. So I’m proud of just the way I’ve weathered all of that. It was a it was a rough go.
38:10.79
Hannah Hembree Bell
um You know, I mentioned that my kids didn’t live with me at first. um There’s a lot of shame and guilt and judgment that people want to throw on top of that. And I, you know, I felt that at the time. I felt like a total piece of crap where a lot of women, when I find them, they’re in the middle of that thinking about getting divorced phase or just got divorced or lost their kids or something’s happened.
38:32.87
Hannah Hembree Bell
And that’s where I was. And I could have stayed there. And like I would say divorce and custody, bitter or better, you choose. It’s up to you. So which are you going to choose? And that sort of takes the idea that, yeah, you can sit around and like point it. He did this or she did that or this always blah, blah, blah, blah. It’s because I’m a woman, all that.
38:52.32
Hannah Hembree Bell
Okay, that’s the bitter root. That’s one choice available to you. But I believe we have full personal responsibility for the outcome. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond. um And so that’s the better angle that I try to call women towards is let’s choose better ladies.
39:07.18
Hannah Hembree Bell
We’re not going to sit around and like, I mean, things happen, bad things happen. I don’t mean to diminish that. You know, I’ve been fortunate in terms of a lot of basically anything bad that’s happened to be has been a choice of my own making for being kind of an idiot at the time.
39:12.04
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
39:19.98
Hannah Hembree Bell
um But, you know, and bad things happen to people that obviously they have no control over and that I couldn’t even fathom the depth of. And it’s also true. that they have a choice in how they respond to that ultimately, even though it may be harder and everything else. And I’m so grateful um that we have that choice, um that we have that space. There’s that Viktor Frankl quote, right? Between the stimulus and and response, there’s a space and therein lies your freedom.
39:47.25
Hannah Hembree Bell
That’s an abbreviated way to say it. And so finding the space to respond is how you get freedom
39:49.13
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
39:54.51
Hannah Hembree Bell
and control in your own law. I mean, control with a little C, like we don’t actually have control over anything, but allows you to kind of get, get fully, um, in full responsibility for your own outcomes.
40:08.23
Hannah Hembree Bell
I’m just not going to let anything that happens to me, least ah to date, that’s my plan.com would, um, um on or change that for me. It’s up to me. It’s me and me, um, responding.
40:18.06
Lorie Jones
yeah
40:20.79
Lorie Jones
I like that. I like that thought that we do have control over our destiny as far as our choices and how we choose to respond to things.
40:30.26
Hannah Hembree Bell
Yes, yes.
40:33.20
Lorie Jones
Any advice for a young lady who’s just starting down on this path that you’re so successful at? Is there anything you you’d say to her to help her become successful like you?
40:46.22
Hannah Hembree Bell
I think adopting a growth mindset as quickly as possible and assuming full personal responsibility for your life immediately. um And I think a lot of young girls um have a lot of entitlement attitude, which is like a combination of like victim. I mean, just like all kinds of things.
41:09.80
Hannah Hembree Bell
And in this generation, and I love, I mean, I have a kiddo, she’s amazing and awesome. And it’s also, you know, a lot of them have had it really great. So, you know, understanding that maybe you’ve had a really great life,
41:24.81
Hannah Hembree Bell
And you’ve had plenty of money and food and opportunities and you get to go to college and your parents are paying for it and all this. um So what are you going to do with that? It’s now your personal responsibility to build, stand on their shoulders and, you know, to pay that forward and to build for the next and to build the life that you want to. But it’s like they miss something, I think, sometimes. Like I know this as an employer is sometimes when not everybody, because I’ve employed some amazing employees.
41:49.37
Hannah Hembree Bell
like gals straight out of, you know, college. um Lauren, who worked here ah for years, is such a good example of what you can be. And then I’ve had some other ones who didn’t work out, who sort of started as an intern and basically kind of thought they were going to come in as like the director of PR.
42:05.53
Hannah Hembree Bell
It’s like, what?
42:05.90
Lorie Jones
You
42:07.61
Hannah Hembree Bell
um So having like a level of humility and understanding that you got to, you know, feel your way.
42:13.86
Lorie Jones
got it.
42:14.49
Hannah Hembree Bell
You don’t just like start knowing everything. You don’t have the knowledge, the wisdom, the experience that takes some time to gain. So understanding that um and putting yourself in situations to grow and expand your network, expand your opportunities, expand your horizons is like step one.
42:32.46
Hannah Hembree Bell
And then maintaining that that throughout and then knowing that it’s up to you. No one’s coming to save you. And entitlement has this idea of like, you owe it to me. No one owes you nothing. Nobody owes you anything, not even your parents. They don’t owe you anything.
42:45.76
Hannah Hembree Bell
Once you’re 18, you know, the state doesn’t even say they owe you anything.
42:49.34
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
42:49.77
Hannah Hembree Bell
um So everything you get from there is just bonus. And what you do with it is up to you. It’s on your shoulders. There’s just, there’s no one coming to save you. And i would do that. I would try to adopt those two things as quickly as possible.
43:05.70
Lorie Jones
I love that. Thank you so much, Hannah, for sharing your journey and just some of your wisdom. I’ve got a couple of things to put up on my vision board. So I appreciate your just talking through your experience. If I have a young woman who’s listening to this program that wants to ask you a question, how does she get in touch with you?
43:24.69
Hannah Hembree Bell
Um, probably in that instance, well, she could join the circle, um, on my confident divorce.com backslash circle. And, um, she could join in there with like women and giving lots of advice, like at pivotal life moments. A lot of them will be divorce based, but not everybody.
43:41.08
Hannah Hembree Bell
Um, another thing would be to follow us on social media. Hannah Canna, like my name, H-A-N-N-A-H, and then C-A-N-N-A-H, send us some DMs. And maybe if there’s some questions, I would love to pick those out and answer them.
43:54.95
Hannah Hembree Bell
um or if I do a live, then join and we can talk on there too, I think would be the best way to follow. And we’re on all the social medias everywhere.
44:02.44
Lorie Jones
I love that. Well, thank you so much, Hannah, for your time today. i really appreciate it.
44:06.96
Hannah Hembree Bell
Yeah, thank you. Thanks for having me. I appreciate It was so much fun