This week, Lorie Jones welcomes powerhouse financial advisor Cary Carbonaro, whose remarkable path proves success rarely follows a straight line. From her early days in private banking to weathering professional pivots and personal upheaval, Cary stands out as a relentless force finding opportunity through adversity.
She opens up about rewriting the rules in a male-dominated industry and why women don’t have to fit neatly into any one box—advisor, author, marketer, or speaker. You will find fresh perspectives in her ironclad commitment to self-belief and her strategic take on building a career where confidence is non-negotiable.
Don’t miss Cary’s practical advice for owning your ambition, championing your credentials, and celebrating milestones along the way. This is a conversation designed to energize growth-minded women ready to shape their own legacy.
Show Highlights:
- A nonlinear journey in finance to a No.4 national ranking. [04:34]
- Betting on your talent over job security at a prestigious firm. [08:34]
- Why you should get Cary’s book Women and Wealth. [10:47]
- Is occupying a single career box important to be successful? [12:23]
- The high-return investment of earning CFP certification. [13:37]
- Risks of unqualified people vetting your separation agreement. [17:36]
- The importance of listening to good parental and CFP advice. [21:47]
- Explicit and subtle discrimination against women in finance. [27:59]
- Two non-negotiables for women entering male-dominated fields. [31:34]
- Practical advice for young women who want to become CFPs. [35:26]
To contact Cary Carbonaro, visit her website https://carycarbonaro.com/ or find her on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/carycarbonarocfp/.Click the link to get Cary’s book Women and Wealth: https://www.amazon.com/Women-Wealth-Playbook-Empower-Clients/dp/1394300271
If you enjoyed this episode, please go to Apple Podcasts and leave a review!
For more information about Lorie Jones, go to https://fearlessfinancialadvisors.com/fearless-females.
00:01.08
Lorie Jones
Good morning, fearless females. So we are here today with Keri Carbonaro, and she is Women in Wealth Ambassador. I loved it. We were just chatting about all the different titles that she had, and she said, I got to choose the one that I liked the best, and that was the one I liked the best. So thank you so much for joining us today, Keri. I really appreciate it.
00:21.56
Cary Carbonaro
So happy to be here with you, Laurie.
00:24.38
Lorie Jones
So my first question is always the same and I love it. It is, I’m a reader. i love any and all suggestions. What is your favorite book?
00:33.88
Cary Carbonaro
My favorite book is Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. It is a very old school book. It was, it’s probably, i don’t know, it’s over a hundred years old. It might even be 150 years old, super old school written back in the day, um early 1900s. And it has the same wisdom that can be applied to the, to this day.
00:56.73
Cary Carbonaro
It is incredibly classic advice about how you can get a wealth mindset. And then once you have it, you There’s nothing stopping you from becoming rich and everybody can become rich.
01:10.15
Lorie Jones
Isn’t it so, yeah. And isn’t it so interesting? Like I’ve noticed that even in my own career that those those things that have been around for years and years and years, like spend less, save more, like those sorts of like basic concepts, they kind of are timeless. That idea of thinking and growing rich is the same as it was in the 1900s if you boil it down to its base.
01:36.11
Cary Carbonaro
it’s It’s incredible. And it’s just to me, he interviewed, you know, all the the millionaires of the time, which would be the billionaires of today. um And it’s the same incredible wisdom that still holds true.
01:49.43
Lorie Jones
Okay. i think I think I’ve read that one, but um if I don’t remember it, then I should put it back in my rotation again.
01:58.20
Cary Carbonaro
Yes, it’s a good one. You could read that one over and over. That’s one that, you know, it’s almost like subliminal messaging in your in your brain. It’s a good one.
02:05.78
Lorie Jones
oh So tell me a little bit about your journey. Tell tell my listeners kind of how you got started, how you got where you’re at, what you’re doing today. Just a little bit about you.
02:18.42
Cary Carbonaro
Sure. So, well, I started out out of college working for a bank, working for JPMorgan Chase. I was in the management training program and I spent my early careers working one-on-one with clients in, but higher net worth clients because I was in like the private banking side of the business. So I worked with, you know, wealthier individuals. And um I knew right away that it i was very good at i was very good at the relationship part of the business. and
02:50.36
Cary Carbonaro
It was definitely not where I wanted to end up, but it was a great first place to start. So I spent my formative years, my early years in the banking industry, one-on-one with clients. Then i i got my MBA at night and I went and decided to move into the marketing end of the business, which I also really love marketing.
03:09.49
Cary Carbonaro
And so first I worked for marketing at at ah JPMorgan Chase.
03:10.05
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
03:14.04
Cary Carbonaro
Then i went and worked in marketing for citibank And then i then I went to rant run marketing or at least e-marketing for Lord Abbott Mutual Funds.
03:25.91
Cary Carbonaro
And so I was a very young age, you know, working on Wall Street and making a lot of money at a very young age. um And I was, i guess, about in my thirty s early 30s. And then married mr wrong which is part of the story.
03:45.82
Cary Carbonaro
And I wound up from Manhattan to central Florida. And when I wound up in central Florida, I was overqualified for every job at, at the time, this was like around nine 11 time.
03:58.30
Cary Carbonaro
And so first I was, um first I halved my salary, then I quartered my salary.
03:59.02
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
04:03.69
Cary Carbonaro
And then I said, I’m not getting out of bed for a quarter of my salary. So then I was like, I’m going to dust my CFP off the shelf and I’m going start taking clients one at a time. So I started my practice around 2002 and I started, you know, one at a time taking clients, but I wasn’t really a hundred percent sure that this is what I wanted to do.
04:23.27
Cary Carbonaro
Um, and then my dad died. I know this is like a really long story, but then my dad died in 2005 and I was in, I was in a terrible marriage with this terrible man. And I um kind of like lost my footing at that moment in time.
04:37.55
Cary Carbonaro
And I was like, oh my God, now that my dad’s gone, I actually have to get serious about what I’m going to do with my life. So I’m going to go all in on this profession. And so I started to get serious in 2006 about this profession.
04:49.58
Cary Carbonaro
And then 2008 happened in the financial crisis. And also that’s when my divorce started. So then i went through a whole tumultuous disaster of two thousand and eight to 2011, it took me that long to get divorced.
05:06.06
Cary Carbonaro
And in 2012, the whole time I’m still growing my practice, growing my practice organically.
05:06.19
Lorie Jones
Oh, wow.
05:11.84
Cary Carbonaro
And 2012, became a partner at United Capital.
05:12.53
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
05:16.30
Cary Carbonaro
which at the time was a very fast growing RAA. Joe Doran was the head of it. It was um really a very good move for me at the time.
05:27.12
Cary Carbonaro
And then from there, my practice kept growing and growing once I got there because I could use their leverage and I used all their, everything that they had, all their systems and I was able to really, really grow there.
05:35.41
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
05:41.98
Cary Carbonaro
So it’s funny. I just recently saw something that said in 2013, I was managing 60 million and it was in the wall street journal. And, you know, now I’m at 300 million. So I thought that was kind of, kind of wild that just, cause I, I mean, I never really thought of what I was and what I was managing in 2000 and 2013, but I saw it in print.
06:03.52
Cary Carbonaro
And that’s so anyway, um But so had so then from that journey of United Capital, That was a good one from 2012 to 2019.
06:13.73
Cary Carbonaro
Very, very good. I was definitely at the top of my game then. i was i think I was the number one woman in the country in 2019, ranked by Investopedia. I was number four in the US and number I think I was the number one woman.
06:23.72
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
06:28.25
Cary Carbonaro
And then in 2019, my firm got sold to Goldman Sachs, which was very terrible for me. um Absolutely horrible for me because I am a marketer.
06:39.45
Cary Carbonaro
I hold myself out as a financial planner. i put I speak, I write, I go on TV, I go on social media, and I couldn’t do any of those things.
06:50.48
Cary Carbonaro
So it was like cutting off my arms and my legs and putting a gag around my mouth. And they literally told me, sit in the corner, shut up and babysit your clients.
06:55.52
Lorie Jones
Yeah. Uh-huh.
06:59.12
Cary Carbonaro
And I was like, I can’t, I don’t even know what to do anymore. Like I would wake up in the morning and I wouldn’t even know what i what to do because I couldn’t do anything that I used to do before. So and then 2020 was COVID. So that was pretty horrible. And I spent a couple of years trying to get out of my contract with Goldman Sachs unsuccessfully with an attorney spending hundreds of thousands of dollars. And I wound up quitting, running out my non-compete and starting over.
07:27.77
Cary Carbonaro
and But of course, i I but of course, I took my clients.
07:27.92
Lorie Jones
Oh, wow. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
07:30.37
Cary Carbonaro
um And so it wasn’t really starting over from scratch. It was just starting over at a new firm. So when I wound up on the other side of Goldman, I was actually at the wrong firm. I had a terrible contract. I had only one firm that would take me. Everybody was afraid of me. Everybody thought Goldman was suing me. So I wound up at the wrong firm on the other side of that transaction, but at least I was free.
07:51.23
Cary Carbonaro
And then I spent about a year and a half looking for another firm. And again, everyone’s like, why didn’t you just open your own firm? And I said, because I didn’t want to open my own firm because I wanted to affiliate with a firm that already had things that I could use so I could leverage my time So that I’m not doing everything and hiring every person that I need to do all the different tasks, because based on my size, I need a staff of at least 10.
08:11.54
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
08:15.22
Cary Carbonaro
um According to Michael Kitches, which I’m, you know, I have a staff of one and a half. So it’s ah quite, quite different, but I’m, I’m very willing to pay a firm that already has everything.
08:19.74
Lorie Jones
yeah
08:25.54
Cary Carbonaro
And so So now I moved, I guess, about almost two years ago. i met Ashton Thomas. um And then this whole time i’ve been I’ve been a CFP board ambassador for the profession, representing the profession in the media for 12 years. So I’m the longest standing CFP board ambassador.
08:44.92
Cary Carbonaro
And then I’ve also written two books along the way. i wrote a book when I got out of my first divorce in 2012 and it came out in 2014 my first book or maybe came out 15 and then yeah take you out 15 and then my second book I just wrote women in wealth for the for the profession um which came out in April of last of 2025.
09:05.02
Lorie Jones
hu
09:10.04
Lorie Jones
Yeah, I just read that one. i loved it. I thought it had some really good things to say and ah needed advice for working with women in this in this industry of wealth.
09:23.05
Lorie Jones
we’ve We’ve typically been kept out of it either, I said, either by choice or by design, but we’ve kind of out of this world. And so I love that you have
09:33.03
Cary Carbonaro
Well, what I always say is it was, it was wealth management was created by men for men. Women have always been an afterthought.
09:39.38
Lorie Jones
Afterthought.
09:41.82
Cary Carbonaro
And we’re going, you know, we’re obviously going to change the whole narrative and the whole playbook, which is why my, my, my book is a playbook for the industry. And the playbook needs to be changed because women are going to control two thirds of the nation’s wealth by 2030. So here we are four short years away and nobody’s changing.
10:00.82
Lorie Jones
Yeah. So I want to go back and just chat for a minute about, you said, i wasn’t sure when you you talked about hanging up your your your shingle and being a CFP, being a financial advisor, you said, I wasn’t sure this was what I was going to do.
10:14.98
Lorie Jones
Like, did it did that change at some point along your journey where you’re like, oh, this is what I was meant to do? Or are you still maybe, you’re still not sure? Uh-huh.
10:23.77
Cary Carbonaro
No, no, no, no. I know this is what I was meant to do. It’s just for, it’s funny because i I, that my, I think what I struggle with is that I don’t fit into a box and I’m not one thing.
10:32.99
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
10:34.44
Cary Carbonaro
I’m so many things. And so that’s positive and negative, I guess, depending on which way you want to look at it. So I’m not just a financial advisor. I’m not just an author.
10:45.61
Cary Carbonaro
I’m not just a speaker. I’m not just a marketer. I’m not just um a CFP. I am all of those things. And so it’s it’s a bigger wrapper.
10:53.88
Lorie Jones
who
10:56.76
Cary Carbonaro
And so I definitely, you know, people just want to put you in one of those one of those boxes. Right.
11:02.30
Lorie Jones
But yeah, and and you can’t really, you’re not just one of those things. That isn’t the only thing that you do. Yeah, I like that. I like that way. And I think, well, if we don’t get around to some of the lessons that you’ve learned along your journey through some of these other questions that we go through, I’m going to come back and delve just a little bit deeper into that, but I’m going to see if it it comes up.
11:25.27
Lorie Jones
Yeah. So my the second question is what is the best investment you’ve made in yourself? If you look kind of over your whole journey, is there one thing that you can say, oh my gosh, if I hadn’t done that, I would not be the success I am today?
11:41.85
Cary Carbonaro
I believe being a CFP is probably the most um dollars and cents um bang for your buck.
11:51.09
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
11:51.13
Cary Carbonaro
in what you can do for yourself. Now, you know, I mean, obviously I have an undergraduate, I have an MBA. um I was thinking about going back for my PhD, but I’m glad I didn’t. um And the CFP certification and marks and are, you know, we were talking about this earlier, but they are the gold standard. And you are, I think your income really jumps once you get to that stage of where you, you know, when you are officially a CFP. And it’s also then, of course, what you do with it, which is the marketing part of what I did with it. And that’s been incredibly helpful.
12:25.34
Lorie Jones
Yeah. So for those that aren’t financially, i i have the CFP and I fully agree with you. In fact, I’ve um told some people, some prospective clients, I say, if you don’t work with me, I understand, but please work with the CFP because I think it’s so important.
12:41.02
Cary Carbonaro
I tell everybody that. I tell everybody that.
12:43.06
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
12:43.86
Cary Carbonaro
I mean, if you think about it, if you’re going to work with an attorney or a doctor, wouldn’t you want them to be board certified? And the answer, of course, is yes. So why wouldn’t you want your money professional to be board certified? Like, I can’t even and i can’t even come up with one reason why you would not.
13:03.29
Lorie Jones
Yeah, I think that people are sort of shocked when they hear that you can basically take a test and call yourself a financial planner.
13:03.98
Cary Carbonaro
Mm-hmm.
13:10.29
Lorie Jones
Like you can.
13:11.00
Cary Carbonaro
Right. Or financial advisor, which is why i don’t use either of those terms.
13:11.56
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
13:14.54
Cary Carbonaro
Right.
13:14.74
Lorie Jones
Yeah. Like a series 65 test. That’s all you have to do. It doesn’t say that you have any special skills, but a CFP, like explain the the process you have to go through for CFP.
13:27.26
Cary Carbonaro
Sure. Well, CFP, you have to have an undergraduate to start with. So that’s that’s the basic thing. Then you have to go through an education process, of ah which takes up to two years. Some people can do an accelerated program, but it usually takes about two years. And then you have to take a board certified exam, which used to be 10 hours is now six hours. And it’s it’s quite hard.
13:48.70
Cary Carbonaro
um and that’s And you have to pay and you have to take take the ethics. So you have to be ethical, which means you have to be a fiduciary for your client, which means you
13:54.10
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
13:57.56
Cary Carbonaro
Anything that you tell your client has to be in their best interest, or you can technically be sued or lose your license. So it’s a different level of care and sophistication. And I don’t know why anybody would not want to work with a CFP.
14:12.63
Lorie Jones
Yeah. And as a CFP myself, you also have to which we would do anyway, because that’s, yeah, that continuing education.
14:18.10
Cary Carbonaro
Continue education, but which I didn’t. Yeah.
14:21.17
Lorie Jones
Yeah. So, so that keeping up on your skills and yeah, i’m I’m so glad you mentioned that because that is a really big, important piece.
14:21.90
Cary Carbonaro
Mm-hmm.
14:30.78
Lorie Jones
And I think it’s something that gets overlooked a lot. So Carrie, if you look back on your journey, can you tell me, have you ever gotten some really bad advice?
14:41.40
Lorie Jones
Like, what is the worst advice you’ve ever gotten? And did you take the advice or did you not take it What happened?
14:48.73
Cary Carbonaro
No, if I, I can’t think of anything like right off the top of my head um other than let’s see, go to Goldman.
15:00.02
Cary Carbonaro
And i was, and I remember um we got our contracts the night before we were going. So they couldn’t have made it where we had literally zero time.
15:13.69
Cary Carbonaro
to get it reviewed or signed by, you know, looked at, looked at by counsel. And, and you know what, it just, it really didn’t matter because we were pretty much going over as indentured servants.
15:26.06
Cary Carbonaro
So there was nothing I could do.
15:26.22
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
15:27.90
Cary Carbonaro
And and I remember somebody saying, it doesn’t matter if you sign it or not. If you don’t go, your clients are going and then you’re not getting paid. And then they’re taking your clients and So I guess, you know, saying to sign it, kind of sign it or else type thing, I guess that was, that was pretty bad, pretty bad advice that I got. And then another bad advice, I just thought of another one, which was probably the worst advice I ever got in my life.
15:54.23
Cary Carbonaro
Um, this person was one of my business partners during my divorce in 2008 or 2009 around that time. um I have not spoken to this man in years, but I had a terrible, terrible marital separation agreement that my horrible ex wanted me to sign.
16:17.98
Cary Carbonaro
And I gave it to my business partner and I said, can you take a look at this and tell me what you think? And he said, it’s great. Sign it. And I did. And then I spent two years of my life and hundreds of thousands of dollars getting it thrown out because it was so bad.
16:35.14
Lorie Jones
Oh, wow.
16:36.25
Cary Carbonaro
So, yeah.
16:37.43
Lorie Jones
Oh, wow. Yeah. So, so how would you treat those differently? If you, if you could redo it, would you not sign with Goldman? Would you?
16:47.75
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
16:48.28
Cary Carbonaro
Well, so it’s, there’s nothing I could have done differently in that situation because i didn’t have any choice whatsoever.
16:52.57
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
16:55.72
Cary Carbonaro
When, when we were sold, I mean, the only thing I could have done is not gone to Goldman and moved all my clients within a 48, 24, 48 hour period, which is quite impossible, but could have been done maybe if I didn’t sleep for that time.
17:09.37
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
17:14.52
Cary Carbonaro
Um, I don’t know. Like, I think from the time, you know what, from the time it was announced to the time that we left, which was a really short amount of time because they were trying to get us hooked and not, not leave.
17:16.61
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
17:27.59
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
17:29.72
Cary Carbonaro
I could have potentially during that little timeframe moved everybody and not been stuck in that contract with them.
17:35.78
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
17:38.08
Cary Carbonaro
They still could have sued me though. That didn’t mean that I was getting out of it.
17:42.03
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
17:43.38
Cary Carbonaro
They still could have came after me.
17:45.24
Lorie Jones
Yeah. so what about do-over? If you could go back and you had all the knowledge that you’ve got right now, but you could go back and redo a situation or a decision that you made or something and do it differently, is there something like that that you can think of?
18:07.58
Cary Carbonaro
So I think about this often. And the only thing that I would ever do differently is not marry my horrible ex-husband.
18:10.14
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
18:14.98
Cary Carbonaro
like deaf and and And then secondly, not sign that marital separation agreement. So those are the two decisions in my life that I regretted. um I also another another regret I have in my life was when I moved to Central Florida, Orlando area, I quit my job at Lord Abbott Mutual Funds.
18:36.06
Cary Carbonaro
And what I should have done because they wouldn’t let me telecommute back then, because that was like way they were like they were kind of like old school. And this was like, you know, a million years before covid where it was even a thing.
18:48.22
Cary Carbonaro
And so what I should have done is I should have kept that job and
18:48.84
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
18:52.72
Cary Carbonaro
commuted to Florida on the weekends. And then I probably would have never then I would have been able to get out of my divorce. I would have been left my husband sooner and I would have kept my job longer and I would have figured out what’s next. But I probably would have never been a financial advisor. I would have stayed in the marketing side of things. So and then I also think if I didn’t marry my horrible ex-husband, I wouldn’t have I wouldn’t have met my amazing husband who I’ve been with for 17 years. And so I met him in Florida.
19:19.90
Cary Carbonaro
went in or in in Orlando at the airport at the on the security line. And so if I never was married to the horrible human being, then I wouldn’t have met the amazing human being. So I think everything was worked the way it was supposed to.
19:32.02
Lorie Jones
Everything worked the way it was supposed to. Yeah, that makes sense.
19:34.93
Cary Carbonaro
Yeah.
19:35.42
Lorie Jones
But but i wonder… um like going back and talking to yourself at that point, like ah you have another young lady who’s coming up trying to make some good decisions and she has the, the choice of a horrible ex-husband, you know, in her future. Like, how would you say, is there anything you could have done or thought or, or talked about that would have allowed you to, to make a different decision or,
20:06.94
Cary Carbonaro
Well, I think my first of all, my parents hated him and that should have been red flag enough for me to not do it. um If your parents hate him, it’s probably the wrong person for you. So and it was the only time in my life I ever disappointed my father. And so and I still carry, you know, and he passed, ah you know, a long time ago 2005. And I still carry that with me that that was the only time I ever disappointed him in in my whole life. And so it still it still hurts me to this day that that I did that.
20:41.33
Lorie Jones
Yeah, i think that’s I think that’s really, it’s hard advice to take. And I can look back at myself and see some of those decisions I made when I was younger, where I’m like, i wouldn’t do that again, given the chance. But telling my daughter you know what to look for and what how you know what like so things to watch out for Like, I don’t know.
21:06.74
Lorie Jones
I’m not sure if you don’t just have to sometimes go through those bad decisions.
21:09.72
Cary Carbonaro
You do. I feel like you do. It doesn’t because somebody could give you the most amazing advice in the world and you’re still not going to take it. It’s like that Alanis Morissette song, the good advice that you just didn’t take.
21:19.93
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
21:20.09
Cary Carbonaro
I mean, we it’s what we do for a living. We give out good advice to our clients and they’re either going to take it or they’re not.
21:22.59
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
21:25.96
Cary Carbonaro
And when they don’t take it, it breaks my heart.
21:26.65
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
21:28.12
Cary Carbonaro
But and then I know what’s going to happen. i yeah i know the path.
21:30.78
Lorie Jones
Yeah. Yeah.
21:31.93
Cary Carbonaro
I can see where it’s going. I always know. And I’m always right because I can see the future when it comes to that.
21:37.59
Lorie Jones
Yeah, yeah, exactly. i see that. see That’s a really good way of putting it. It’s like you can see what you can see what these decisions are making today, how they affect their financial plan in the future, because you’ve seen it over and over and over again, right?
21:50.40
Cary Carbonaro
Right, right.
21:51.48
Lorie Jones
Oh, yeah. I love that. I love the way that you put that.
21:53.69
Cary Carbonaro
remember
21:54.49
Lorie Jones
That’s so smart.
21:56.12
Cary Carbonaro
Thank you.
21:56.28
Lorie Jones
So what about um if you could go back and high five yourself for any one great past financial decision, what would it be?
22:09.30
Cary Carbonaro
i have a lot of good ones. um
22:13.98
Cary Carbonaro
paying off my first mortgage, um making my first million dollars. um
22:24.56
Cary Carbonaro
Gosh, I have, i’ve I’ve done everything. I practice what I preach. So I’ve done everything that I tell my clients to do and more. You know, I, at one point was saving 50% of my income.
22:36.92
Cary Carbonaro
And investing it. So, you know, i I have enough, I have more money now. I make more money from my, from my portfolio than I do from my day job.
22:46.36
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
22:47.00
Cary Carbonaro
So I think I’ve done everything right.
22:49.47
Lorie Jones
Mm hmm. Yeah, well, and and those are, i i remember reading in your book where you just talked about having that sense of, you know, saving and saving, not growing into your income, but saving part of it for a rainy day and how that helped you kind of get through some of those a difficult, difficult situations that you were dealing with.
23:12.60
Cary Carbonaro
Exactly. Well, I remember, I remember when they told me that I was going to quit Goldman and that they were going to come after me and they were going to TRO me, which is temporary restraining order. And that, and I was told by three different people, you better have two to 5 million in a bank account to fight Goldman.
23:32.95
Lorie Jones
Wow.
23:34.10
Cary Carbonaro
So that’s what you had to have if you wanted to walk away.
23:37.60
Lorie Jones
Oh, wow.
23:38.87
Cary Carbonaro
Yeah. Yeah.
23:39.29
Lorie Jones
That is so, it almost feels predatory. Like.
23:46.23
Cary Carbonaro
Yeah, exactly. And I, and I kept saying to my attorney, i thought slavery was outlawed. Like, I don’t understand how am I in a contract that I can’t get out of, that I can’t get fired from, that I can’t quit from. that Like it just, the whole thing made no sense to me, but it was what it was.
24:02.36
Cary Carbonaro
So, and now it’s over. And now on the other side.
24:04.12
Lorie Jones
yeah What scared you the most when you started out on your journey, on your career? did Was there anything that scared you? And is it still?
24:14.26
Cary Carbonaro
um Well, nothing scares me. um The only thing, that I mean, definitely, definitely not now. I mean, absolutely nothing scares me now. um I mean, I would say that 2008, the financial crisis scared me.
24:29.34
Cary Carbonaro
That was, that was, that did you go through that? you ah That was very scary for financial advisors because it was, ah you know, the U.S.
24:34.81
Lorie Jones
Yeah.
24:38.83
Cary Carbonaro
economy had a heart attack. It was on life support. You know, we were dead. we’ were almost dead on the table. um i had never lived through anything like that. You know, the last time the was was ah the was the Great Depression, which I wasn’t born for. Neither were you And so, you know, all we had was history to look back on. And that was incredibly scary because not only do we have to be calm. We had to be calm for our clients. And we had no idea what was going on during that time frame. So that was that was super scary. And i I don’t know if we’re ever going to see that something like that again in our lifetime, but I’ll be able to get through it and you know because I’ve already been through it. So it won’t be as scary because it’s not the first time.
25:21.27
Lorie Jones
Yeah, that makes sense that that you’ve you’ve already dealt with it. And so it you’ve seen the downs and ups. that was a That was a great big down though.
25:30.97
Cary Carbonaro
Yes, it was. So, but I, so I’ve survived now. I mean, 9-11, financial crisis, COVID, which was like a blip, you know, a couple of, a couple of recessions and downturns and then ah whatever last April was, you know, liberation day. So, and that’s my whole career. And that’s like, I can count them on almost on one hand.
25:54.94
Cary Carbonaro
So i it’s just, and I, what I tell my clients is, It’s just a matter of how long it takes to get out of them. That’s it.
26:02.87
Lorie Jones
Yeah. Yeah.
26:04.21
Cary Carbonaro
That’s it. It’s not like it’s not going to happen. It’s going to happen eventually um because it’s it’s a business cycle, but it’s just a matter of how long we it will take us to recover.
26:14.53
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
26:15.90
Cary Carbonaro
And 9-11 was longer even than the financial crisis to recovery.
26:21.88
Lorie Jones
As far as, yeah, yeah.
26:22.10
Cary Carbonaro
So…
26:25.46
Lorie Jones
What um did you, this, the answer to this question has got to be a yes, but did you face any unique challenges because you were a woman?
26:35.19
Cary Carbonaro
Yes. um Yes. um so ah that’s such a long answer that I could finish the whole rest of this call with that question. um I would say that the only time in my life that I was discriminated against as a woman from the company was when I was at my my time at Goldman.
27:03.59
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
27:03.64
Cary Carbonaro
That was the only time, the first and only time I felt discrimination.
27:03.73
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
27:08.47
Cary Carbonaro
um And maybe it was, um I actually did speak to an attorney about it. And they said, it may not be discrimination. They may just hate you, Carrie. and i don’t And they don’t know the difference. like so And I don’t know the difference either. And they and they hated me because I was not um saying that everything was perfect because everything was not perfect. It was a disaster.
27:32.66
Cary Carbonaro
um And they wound up selling it for pennies on the dollar. So I was right about everything I was saying, but nobody wanted to hear me say it. So um anyway, so, but that was a terrible experience for me.
27:38.93
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
27:43.01
Cary Carbonaro
And then the other thing is, you know, being a woman in this profession, you know, again, built by men for men, you know, if women are doing the hiring, it’s a little bit easier as a woman sometimes.
27:56.06
Cary Carbonaro
Right. Because sometimes women want to work with women. I had a woman who was my client who gave like a referral to her friend and said, you know, this is my financial planner. I think she’s great. I think you should call her. And she goes, i would never work with a woman. A man can take care of me better.
28:16.38
Cary Carbonaro
And so you get that too. So you’ve got unconscious bias, implicit bias.
28:19.50
Lorie Jones
Oh, yeah. Mm
28:22.84
Cary Carbonaro
You’ve got, you know, a million different things of, you know, cultural, social sociological norms going against you. So it is very hard to be a woman in this profession.
28:35.93
Cary Carbonaro
Now, 20 years ago, it was harder. I think it’s easier today.
28:38.43
Lorie Jones
hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah, I.
28:40.95
Cary Carbonaro
So I had no role models. I had none.
28:44.26
Lorie Jones
Yeah, that’s and that was something that I kind of wanted to to talk just a little bit about because you were at the the beginning stages of women in financial services, women financial advisors.
28:56.53
Lorie Jones
There’s what between 15 and 20 percent of women that are financial advisors right now.
28:57.11
Cary Carbonaro
Yes.
28:59.63
Cary Carbonaro
Right.
29:02.05
Lorie Jones
But when you started, um that was it was much you were the only woman in the room.
29:02.86
Cary Carbonaro
Right.
29:08.28
Cary Carbonaro
Always, always. And there actually is a woman named Alex, alex Alexander Armstrong, and she is actually the OG. She started like, she’s probably, and I don’t want to, I don’t know her age, but she’s a lot older than me.
29:21.02
Cary Carbonaro
Um, so, cause she’s been doing it a lot longer. I think she started, I think she started in the seventies. So, um, I didn’t start till 2000s.
29:26.12
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
29:30.32
Cary Carbonaro
So, or maybe she started in the eighties. So she started 20 or 30 years before me. And she is like, she’s the woman, investment news, the lifetime achievement woman to watch award has her name on it.
29:43.52
Cary Carbonaro
It’s the Alexandra Armstrong lifetime achievement award. And so she was the OG. So, so she was even before me, but I didn’t know her until now. I didn’t get to know her into my life until I’m at this stage of my career. Yeah.
29:57.63
Lorie Jones
Uh-huh.
29:57.85
Cary Carbonaro
And now she knows me well. And she just actually wrote an article about my book for Journal for Financial Planning in December of this year, December of last year.
30:05.26
Lorie Jones
Oh, that’s great. That’s great.
30:06.86
Cary Carbonaro
Yeah.
30:07.77
Lorie Jones
so So are there things that you learned being the only woman in the room or being you know one of the few that were in financial services back in the early 2000s that could help not only other financial advisors, but like i I interview women across the spectrum.
30:27.66
Lorie Jones
So it’s not just financial advisors. We have women in engineering and women in STEM and women in tech You know, is there is there some lessons that you’ve learned
30:36.95
Cary Carbonaro
So, yeah. So first of all, you, well, I believe as a woman in this profession, you have to be smarter than, than the men. It just to be in the same room, you have to have more credentials. You have to have more experience. You have to have more everything just to be in the room.
30:56.70
Cary Carbonaro
Okay. So, That is a lot of pressure on, on you because you like the bar is just so much higher just, just to be there.
31:04.52
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
31:05.69
Cary Carbonaro
So that’s the first thing. Then the second thing, which I think is even more important than having all that stuff is the confidence factor, which is a huge deal because if you don’t have confidence, they’re going to eat you alive.
31:18.42
Cary Carbonaro
And I never thought for a second that I didn’t deserve to be in that room ever, not even one second ever. So because of my confidence, I was invited in the room and I kept getting asked to do things and, and it, you know, it, it got me clients and it got me all the things that I wanted to get. So I think the confidence factor is really important and whatever that means, whatever you have to do to get it, um, you know, sometimes you’re born with it. Sometimes you need to figure out how to get it, but you need to but you need to have it.
31:50.58
Cary Carbonaro
And even if even if you don’t have it, fake it till you make it, because that’s what that’s what people say all the time, pretend you have it. And then maybe eventually you’ll get it.
31:56.15
Lorie Jones
Yeah. Yeah. I think that part of building that confidence comes with um doing getting the chance, taking that chance and doing well.
32:06.97
Lorie Jones
um Part of it comes from those credentials that you were mentioning.
32:11.19
Cary Carbonaro
Right.
32:11.90
Lorie Jones
Part of it is innate, but I don’t think all of it is. I think you can develop the confidence that you need, even if you aren’t born with it. But…
32:22.10
Cary Carbonaro
I think so, too. I think so, too. You know, it’s funny when we’re saying about back early in the day, believe it or not, when I started in this profession, because my dad was in banking and I um just figured i’ i I was very good with money and people. And so to me, this was just very natural. And I actually did not even realize how male dominated it was until like later in my career.
32:49.03
Cary Carbonaro
Like I was just in my lane doing my thing. And I remember being at a TD Ameritrade conference and the line for the men’s bathroom was out the door.
33:00.45
Cary Carbonaro
And and there was literally nobody in the women’s bathroom. And I walked in with with a friend and we just went to the bathroom. And it just shocked me. And i sit and i took ah I took a picture of the line and I was like, like it just hit me all at once.
33:15.18
Cary Carbonaro
Like, oh my God, there’s literally no women. And I like, you know, it’s always the other way around where the women are waiting on a line and the men are walking into the bathroom and it’s the complete opposite.
33:17.94
Lorie Jones
Yeah,
33:25.94
Lorie Jones
yeah, yeah, that’s so interesting. Where are all the women? Yeah.
33:29.92
Cary Carbonaro
Right.
33:31.99
Lorie Jones
um Carrie, what is the thing you are most proud of?
33:36.86
Cary Carbonaro
Um, what am I most proud of? I am most proud of my business and my clients. I am most proud of my book, my second book, more than my first book. My second book is is like my, is like much, much better because it’s like a it’s like a textbook for the industry.
33:56.47
Cary Carbonaro
So I feel like it’s going to, going to change how females are um communicated with and and treated in the profession.
33:56.95
Lorie Jones
Oh, that’s
34:06.42
Cary Carbonaro
um I’m also proud of my relationships with, with all my friends and family and clients. And I’m most proud of starting a sorority when I was in college for, I was a founding president of a sorority that’s been going around on for 30 something years.
34:24.15
Lorie Jones
cool
34:25.40
Cary Carbonaro
Yeah. So those are those are things that I’m proud of.
34:28.76
Lorie Jones
um Any advice for a young woman who’s just kind of starting down this path m that you are already so successful at?
34:37.94
Cary Carbonaro
um So they want to be a financial advisor then or they are a financial advisor.
34:40.41
Lorie Jones
I want to be a financial advisor, i think.
34:42.17
Cary Carbonaro
Okay. Okay, so um the first thing I would tell them is please read my book because it’s going to give you a lot of ways to be successful with women and it has at the end of every chapter it has questions to ask yourself questions to ask your female clients.
34:54.02
Lorie Jones
Mm-hmm.
35:00.06
Cary Carbonaro
So it’s, it’s a nice workbook for you to help you get, get where, get where you want to go. um You have to manage your own career because nobody else is going to do it for you.
35:12.41
Cary Carbonaro
um You have to um
35:18.23
Cary Carbonaro
put your hand up. And also it’s funny because they say women, you know, put their head down and work and just expect to be rewarded. no you shouldn’t be expect to be rewarded because you’re not.
35:27.31
Lorie Jones
Thank you.
35:30.35
Cary Carbonaro
Because the guy is either in in the other guy’s face or whatever. So what I know every single year what I do, which I’ve done my whole career. if it if And it doesn’t even matter because i I’m my own, really i’m um I’m my own boss, but I do affiliate with a firm.
35:46.43
Cary Carbonaro
And at the end of every single year, i i list my list of accomplishments and I send it to whoever is you know, writing my paycheck or, or some, you know, giving me money or, you know, something to that effect, just so they, they know what I did.
36:03.03
Cary Carbonaro
If they did, if they missed it during the year. And I’ve done that my whole career.
36:06.87
Lorie Jones
I love that. Do you keep track of it like daily, weekly, monthly?
36:10.58
Cary Carbonaro
No, no, I just do it at the end of the year. And I, I, I just pick the highlights.
36:15.61
Lorie Jones
love that. That’s a really good idea, honestly, for getting some visual FaceTime. You just say, hey, don’t forget, I did these really great things this year.
36:26.99
Lorie Jones
And it helps you, too, to look back and say, yeah.
36:29.23
Cary Carbonaro
Well, I call it a year in review. Mm-hmm.
36:32.92
Lorie Jones
Yeah, i like that idea. that’s ah That’s really good. I’m going to take that away. So thank you so much, Carrie, for your time today and for just telling me a little bit about your journey. I really appreciate it. If I have a young lady, and I know that you work with young women a lot in financial services, but I have someone who’s interested in in asking more questions or just picking your brain, how do they get a hold of you?
36:56.18
Cary Carbonaro
um I’m so easy to find on social media. You can find me on LinkedIn, on Facebook, on Instagram. I have a website, CarrieCarbonoro.com. So I’m really easy to find. Just Google me.
37:08.21
Lorie Jones
Well, thank you. Thank you for your time and and sharing your story with us. I appreciate it.
37:13.84
Cary Carbonaro
Awesome.